


Enter Kaiyō

by Sucker4TallDarkAndTerrifying



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Cynicism, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, It does get better I swear, Language, OC-centric, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shinobi swear like sailors, Suicidal Thoughts, Twisted Humor, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, You've been warned, multiple POVs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:26:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26275612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sucker4TallDarkAndTerrifying/pseuds/Sucker4TallDarkAndTerrifying
Summary: Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its published characters.2nd Disclaimer: check tags for content/trigger warnings*enter Kaiyō*AKAZabuza and Kisame created a lovable little twisted murder-apprentice, and she’s about to shake things up in Konoha, as well as make the lives of a few certain shinobi veeeery interesting.
Relationships: Hoshigaki Kisame & Original Female Character(s), Momochi Zabuza & Original Female Character(s), Morino Ibiki & Original Female Character(s), Morino Ibiki & Yamanaka Inoichi, Yamanaka Inoichi & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 84





	1. Her Road So Far

She's four when the black-haired orphan boy a few years older and a few houses down from her slaughters over a hundred students in that year's graduating class.

She doesn't know what happened, only wonders now and then why she never sees him around their neighborhood anymore.

***

She's seven when she sees him again, and she knows exactly who he is now — his name is still whispered through the halls of the Academy.

Except he doesn't look much like a demon to her — in fact, he looks scared as he flashes from rooftop to rooftop down her street, and in the distance behind him she can see a larger man giving chase.

"Hey!" She calls to him without thinking, yanking open the front door of her empty home. 

His head turns as he lands across the street, and the sun glints off the metal of the hitai-ate he now wears.

She waves, and he flashes into her house without question, pulling the door closed behind him and pressing his back against it.

"Thanks," he whispers, breathing hard, and she nods and turns out the lights, looking out the window as the man in pursuit draws closer.

"Why is your sensei chasing you, Zabuza?"

"Because I pissed him off." He grins widely. "Is he gone?"

"Not yet." Her breath catches when the man lands on the roof across the street, and she holds it as he looks around, scowling.

A long moment later, he disappears in a swirl of mist, and she finally exhales.

"He's gone."

"I owe you one," Zabuza says, standing up straight.

"Train with me?" she asks hopefully.

The teachers at the Academy don't pay her much attention — she's a member of the lowest caste, only good for future fodder and not worth the time to educate properly.

Zabuza doesn't like it, but she's stubborn, giving him the biggest and saddest eyes she can manage, and he finally relents with a growl, agreeing to help her out whenever he can.

"What's your name, kid?"

She beams. "It's Kaiyō. My name is Kaiyō."

***

She's ten when she graduates third in her class from the Academy.

Zabuza and someone new — his friend, Kisame — take her out to dinner to celebrate, and the three of them sit around a fire on the beach as the sun drops below the horizon.

She likes Kisame — he laughs loudly and often because he makes a lot of jokes, and the blues of his skin and hair are fascinating.

He leans over and ducks his head for her, and she reaches up to run her hand through the deep blue spikes.

"It's so soft!" she exclaims, surprised.

"That's the _only_ thing about me that's soft, little fish," he says, winking at her and flashing his pointed teeth again in a wide grin.

***

Her jonin sensei all but ignores her in favor of the two higher-class genin on her team, and it's after a couple of months that she finally breaks down and asks Zabuza to train with her again.

To her surprise and delight, Kisame joins him often, even steps in to help her on his own.

He's brutal, but fair — he’ll beat her black and blue, but he pulls her to her feet and ruffles her hair with words of praise for her progress.

And his lessons aren’t just for the battlefield.

“Life is short, little fish, and a shinobi’s even more so.” He settles into his fighting stance, and she mirrors the pose. “You’re a ninja now, so you must take your joy where you can, whether it be in the taste of your food, the thrill of a fight, or the feel of a blade in your hands or the power in your body.” He lunges for her, swinging an open hand at her head, and she ducks, sidestepping him. “ _Nothing_ is promised to us — not the next sunrise, or even the sunset of any day we’re given, so make the most of every moment you breathe. Do you hear me, little fish?”

She hears him — her joy comes from training, from fighting — she revels in the sensations of the blood rushing through her veins, the adrenaline in her muscles, and the raw, crackling energy of the chakra she wields.

It’s months later, after a particularly grueling training session that ends with white spots in her vision, and more than likely a mild concussion, that the words “That fucking _hurt_ , Kisame-nii-sama” tumble out of her mouth as she sits in a daze while he stitches the gash closed beside her right eye.

He looks at her for a long moment, holding her face in his hand, then shakes his head with a smile before finishing up the sutures.

“Only for you, little fish... only for you.”

***

She's twelve, and her sensei will not recommend her for the Chunin Exams, even though her arsenal of Water-Style ninjutsu is formidable for her age, and thanks to Kisame, she can use two Earth-Style Jutsu as well.

"Then get one of them to recommend you," her sensei snarls, drawing back a fist, and as she dodges the blow she understands that he hates her.

She watches instead as her two team-mates are assigned to other squads to meet the enrollment requirements.

She starts taking more and more difficult missions, completing them on her own, and though Zabuza and Kisame are both ANBU, as well as apprenticed to Swordsmen of the Mist, they still make time for her.

***

On her thirteenth birthday, Kisame gifts her a wakizashi with a handle wrapped in the exact same shade of blue as her eyes, and she becomes the only genin in Kiri's history to join its ANBU ranks.

***

She's fourteen when Kumo puts her in their village's Bingo-Book.

***

She's fifteen when she's added to Iwa's and Konoha's at the same time.

***

She's sixteen when the Mizukage Yagura informs her that he's changing her official rank to chunin, then dismisses her in the next breath.

Zabuza muses darkly beside her hospital bed that night that perhaps it's time for a regime change.

She agrees.

***

She's seventeen when her name goes into Kirigakure's Bingo Book, after she flees her country in the dead of night at her best friend’s side, along with an orphan and a handful of others, a flood of hunter-nin on their group’s heels.

***

She's nineteen when she hears that her blue-skinned nii-sama has left Kiri as well.

***

She’s twenty when she’s staring Zabuza in the face one evening during a spar as he’s got her pinned to the ground, and something _changes_ between them, something that later they’ll wonder if they ever really had a chance to avoid, or if maybe it was always supposed to be this way, because when his savage brown-eyed gaze drops from her eyes to her lips, instead of grabbing him by the shirt and jerking her hips up to throw him over her head, she slips her arms around his neck and surrenders.

As it turns out, falling in love is something they’ve been doing for years.

***

She's twenty-three when her heart shatters in her chest as she stands over two graves in the Land of Waves, gripping her wakizashi with one hand and flattening her other palm against Kubikiribōchō's broad blade as the tears stream down her face.

And she realizes that she's alone in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reposting 11/22/20 with updates, a little extra detail, and some life lessons from Kisame


	2. No Introductions Needed

It would be easy for her to kill him.

She's crouched in a tree on the edge of the campsite, her chakra suppressed to nearly non-existent and her eyes on the sleeping, silver-haired jonin as she flips her tanto steadily and silently through her fingers in the same manner that a civilian might fiddle with a pencil.

One flick of her wrist could send the knife into the jonin's throat. 

Easy. So easy.

She wants to.

And she would. She'd send the tanto flying, the tip slicing through the man's carotid artery as the blade buried itself in his neck, and that would be the end of Kakashi the Copy-Ninja.

But.

She's been on the run from Kiri for more than six years now, and she hasn't made it this far by being stupid — now that she's on her own she's an easier target for the hunter-nin, should she manage to attract their attention again.

And killing a shinobi as famed across nations as the one in front of her would attract a _lot_ of attention.

Then again, if she kills the brats along with him, there's nobody else around to mark her as the culprit.

_Hmm._

She glances at the black-haired boy that's keeping watch, then at the sleeping blonde, and finally the pink-haired girl.

The knife stills in her fingers, and she holds it by the blade as she lightly taps the handle against her lips, her brow furrowed as she thinks.

_... Nope, too risky._

Her profile is right next to Zabuza's in the Bingo Book, and both of them have the other listed as allies. If she kills these Leaf shinobi, then eventually Kiri _and_ Konoha will be coming for her.

She slips away through the trees.

***

After sleeping, fitfully, on her decision to spare the Leaf ninja, she decides instead to follow the Konoha shinobi back to their village, keeping careful distance.

It’s been several years since she’s been an issue for the Leaf, even before she'd left Kirigakure, so maybe they’ll take her in if she offers to fight for them — now that Zabuza’s gone, her Silent Killing Technique is second to none.

The genin are oblivious, but she knows that their sensei knows she’s there.

However, Kakashi makes no efforts to approach her, and she returns the favor to him and his students.

***

Nine of the Leaf’s ANBU flash down from the trees to surround her when she approaches Konoha’s main gate, and she raises her hands slowly above her head with her fingers splayed out.

“I’m not here to cause trouble,” she says, keeping her voice steady and clear.

“Then you won’t mind putting these on,” answers a monkey-masked ninja, holding up a pair of thick leather cuffs with a few links of chain between them.

She raises her eyebrows. “Kinky. But what if I do mind?”

“We knock you out and put them on you anyway,” growls a different, rougher voice from behind the striped face of a tiger.

“Hmm, that’s fair.” She smiles and shrugs one shoulder. “Alright then, I’m going to lower my hands now so you can put those on me.”

“Slowly,” the tiger says, watching as she obeys. “Now, do not move.”

The monkey passes the cuffs, and as the tiger takes a single step toward her, a wild half-thought flashes into her mind to twitch forward at him, just to see what he’ll do.

He takes another step, and that’s when she realizes he is _tall,_ the same height as Kisame, although she can see that this ninja in front of her is somehow packing even more muscle on his large frame than her big brother ever did.

She wonders what he looks like beneath the mask, and when she raises her chin to get a look, she sees dark eyes flashing down at her.

“I told you not to move.” 

“Sorry."

One broad, plate-gloved hand closes long fingers around her forearm, and the other slips a cuff around one of her wrists.

She twitches at him.

Her legs are instantly swept from beneath her as he yanks her arm forward, and in a split second she’s flat on her face in the dirt, with his hands pinning her wrists and his knee between her shoulder blades.

She laughs once in a loud bark, further sound cutting off when he applies more pressure with his knee, though her little body still shakes as she giggles silently.

“You think this is funny?” he snarls, and the grips around her wrist tighten exponentially.

She thinks it’s hilarious actually, but she’s done playing with him for the moment — it’s getting difficult to breathe with his knee on her spine, and if he squeezes her wrists any harder they’ll break.

So she goes still, and after a long moment he settles back onto the balls of his feet and pulls her arms behind her, and another masked ninja slips the restraints on.

As soon as the leather tightens against her skin, she feels her chakra suppress, and the tiger stands and grabs her by a bicep to pull her to her feet.

She scowls when a female wearing a cat mask holds up a cloth sack — she didn't agree to that.

"Knock it off." The tiger gives her a sharp shake. "You're in no position to make threats."

 _What?_ She's not — _Ah, hell._ — and she dials back the extra Killing Intent she'd unconsciously begun to emanate.

The sack goes over her head.

***

She's taken up _entirely_ too many stairs, and by the time she's reached the top of whatever the fuck they're climbing, she's considered tripping the tiger-masked ninja a total of seven times, both casually and seriously.

Then there's a series of stop and go — she hears several doors unlocking before she's walked through them — and a few turns before another door is unlocked and a moment later she's stripped of her wakizashi, the short tanto at the small of her back, and both of her holsters of kunai before she's abruptly sat down in a cold metal chair with her bound wrists still behind her.

There's a sudden tug at the links between the cuffs, and now extra weight is pulling her hands down toward the floor.

They've chained her in place, and she bites her lip to keep from laughing again at the realization.

A door closes behind her, and silence follows.

One minute passes.

Then another.

She stays utterly still, breathing silently and waiting patiently — it's a mind game they're playing now, and she intends to win.

***

**Ibiki changes in his office, setting his tiger mask on the desk before stripping out of the rest of his ANBU uniform and pulling on the dark grey suit belonging to the Torture and Interrogation Corps.**

**He shrugs on the long black coat and adjusts it across his broad shoulders, then heads down the hall to the main area of the department.**

**"Status."**

**Mozuku answers him from behind the huge, three-sided desk. "Seven minutes since entry, six since securing, and five since she's moved at all."**

**A muscle ticks in the scarred tokujo's jaw, and without another word he turns down the other hallway from the main area, heading for his Interrogation room.**

**Looking through the two-way glass, he watches the Kiri-nin for another two minutes.**

**Briefly pondering the merits of kicking the metal door open — he's done it before, knows it will slam open loudly enough to wake the dead — he decides against it and simply pushes his way into the room, stepping up behind her and yanking the cloth sack from her head.**

**She flinches, letting out a harsh curse, and he moves slowly and deliberately into her line of sight .**

**"Well, fuck," she says when their eyes lock, and she smiles widely at him. "I didn't expect them to send in the boss — I'm flattered."**

**"You know who I am." It's not a question — he knows his reputation is spread widely, as is hers.**

**"Hmm." She thinks for a moment, studying him, then nods. "Pretty sure, yeah."**

**"Then you know how this is going to go."**

**She tilts her head to the side like a dog, her expression curious. "How what's going to go exactly? It's not like I've been difficult for you.”**

**Apart from provoking him into pinning her, she's correct.**

**However, rogue ninja _never_ walked up to an enemy village's gate and simply surrendered, as she had.**

**Not unless they had something up their sleeve, they didn't.**

**His biggest problem was that the intel on her, as well as her ally, Zabuza Momochi, had dropped off a little over six years ago, just after they'd abandoned Kirigakure.**

**Well, until earlier that morning at least, when Hatake had turned in his mission report detailing the latter's demise in the Land of Waves, but absolutely nowhere in the document had she been mentioned.**

**And now that he thinks about that....**

**"I suppose that's true," he says, shifting his tone a bit closer to conversational. "So what do you want?"**

**"Asylum would be nice."**

**"Not happening."**

**"And yet I feel as if that's not your decision," she answers, shrugging a shoulder and grinning at him again.**

**She reminds him of Anko, and someone else...**

**It's not Zabuza, even though she wears her hitai-ate in a mirror-image of the Demon.**

****

****

**No, he can't quite pin it down in his mind, and that's enough to annoy him.**

**Not that he lets it show on his scarred face.**

****

**"I could be an asset to the Leaf," she continues, and unless he's mistaken, the thinnest thread of what sounds like desperation has entered her voice. "You can't deny that.”**

****

**It's an opening, and he pounces. "Or I could bleed you out in the next four minutes and collect your bounty from Yagura within the week. Nobody would bat an eye."**

****

**He sends a heavy flash of KI at her for good measure.**

****

**"You don't scare me," she laughs softly, and the sudden wave of KI that flares from her little body actually blacks out his vision for a second, giving him a brief impression of insane joy, along with a vision of his thick neck opening in a spray of blood, the light fading slowly from behind his dark eyes.**

****

**He blinks — he's back to his Interrogation Room — and as her eyes go wide, he figures out exactly who else she reminds him of: that utterly unhinged Killing Intent bringing the blue-skinned beast of a man directly to the front of his mind.**

**Kisame _fucking_ Hoshigaki.**

***

“Holy _shit_ ,” she breathes softly, staring wide-eyed up at the scarred face in front of her.

She'd _actually_ managed to shake him.

Sure, it had been for less than second, but she'd definitely seen his face tighten after his eyes widened only a fraction, before the masking scowl settled back across his features.

He is _pissed_ as he glares down at her from across the room, and she quickly drops her gaze to his broad chest, shifting awkwardly in the chair.

There’s a long, long pause, and then without another word her interrogator turns toward the door and pushes it open, leaving her alone again as it thuds closed behind him. 

She lets her head fall back as she lets out a frustrated growl, then sighs deeply and closes her eyes.

Maybe they’ll decide she’s not worth the trouble and kill her.

She’s alright with that, honestly, because it’s not as if she’s got anything tying her to this mortal coil any longer, and Konoha was her last-ditch effort anyway.

Just as long as they do it quickly.

***

They leave her alone for a little while this time — twenty or even thirty minutes maybe, if she has to guess, and then the metal door swings open again.

Her interrogator is back, and behind him is another man with blonde hair pulled into a long ponytail, dressed in shinobi attire with a red haori over his flak vest.

She doesn’t know who this one is, and she’s wary but curious as she glances from one to the other.

Neither of them says a word as the blonde man approaches her with his hand outstretched, and her lips pull back from her teeth as he settles his palm against her forehead — she’s not a fan of strangers touching her.

She feels a jolt of chakra, and suddenly he’s there, in her mind, and he begins sifting through her thoughts and memories with no effort whatsoever.

“You sonofa - !”

Her snarl is cut short as the presence in her mind bears down on her, and she goes limp in the chair as he knocks her out from within, her head lolling back on her spine.

***

**Ibiki watches as Inoichi Yamanaka’s eyes close, and the mind-walk begins.**

**He waits silently, his hands in his pockets, and several minutes later it’s done.**

**The blonde shinobi looks somber as he pulls his hand away and guides Kaiyō's upper body forward to lay her head on the metal table in front of her.**

**Ibiki frowns. "What's wrong?"**

**“She’s telling the truth,” Inoichi says quietly, folding his arms. “There’s nothing in there whatsoever that would indicate she’s any got ulterior motives — as far as she’s concerned, we’ll either let her stay or we’ll kill her, and while she’d prefer the former, she really doesn’t care much either way.”**

**Ibiki’s hands curl into fists. “Then what’s she hiding?”**

**“Jokes and antics aside, she’s hurting, and badly — her heart’s been in a million pieces since she found out about Zabuza, and you remind her of her brother, Kisame, which is almost just as painful.”**

**“That fucking menace is her _brother_?”**

**“Adoptive, not biological — they got close in Kiri after she graduated the Academy.” The older man frowns, looking down at the unconscious kunoichi, then puffs out a sigh. "... She's a good ninja, Ibiki - her skills are on the level of any of our jonin, and her assassination game is better than Raido's even."**

**“… So we could use her.”**

**“Without a doubt,” Inoichi answers. “Though of course it’ll be up to the Hokage.”**

**Ibiki nods. “Thank you for coming.”**

**“Anytime.”**

***

She regains consciousness slowly, raising her head from the metal table, and the first thing she sees is the scarred, scowling face of her interrogator as he sits across from her.

She wonders if he ever smiles, briefly tries to imagine what the expression might do to the angry lines cutting through his rugged features.

Her head hurts, thanks to the blonde man treating it like a sandbox, and she doesn't have the energy to make any wisecracks.

"So what's it going to be?" she asks, exhaustion making her blunt. "Asylum or death?"

"The Hokage seems to think you can be trusted," he answers flatly. "You'll be allowed to stay."

“I’ll need to apologize to your friend then,” she says dryly. 

Maybe she’d even buy him a nice bottle of whisky.

“There are conditions.”

 _Of course there are._ Nothing in the world was free, after all.

But the conditions are surprisingly few: she’s confined to the village proper for 30 days; she’ll have an ANBU shadowing her for that entire period; and she can’t take on any paid missions til it’s over.

She also has to meet with her interrogator and the blonde man, Inoichi is his name, a minimum of twice a week for “evaluations”.

All in all, a relatively long leash with a comfortable collar, at least to start with.

“Fine.” She nods in agreement, then shakes her bound wrists behind her. “Any chance we can lose these now? My shoulders are hurting like a bitch.”

His face doesn’t change, but he stands after a moment, pulling the cloth sack from one of the pockets of his coat.

“If you’re going to keep this kinky shit up, you could’ve at least bought me dinner first,” she drawls, lazily raising her chin to look him in the eyes.

She thinks maybe his lips twitch to one side as he steps around the table toward her, but then the sack goes over her head and his stony face is gone.

***

There’s more stop and go as she’s walked through what she assumes is her interrogator’s building, and after a few minutes they’re outside again.

Suddenly an iron band — no, just a thickly muscled arm — curls around her ribs and yanks her back, her shoulders flat against a large and hard body, and before she can open her mouth to protest, she feels her feet leave the ground in a Shunshin.

Less than a second after they land, she’s released, and the sack comes off abruptly.

She blinks in the sudden sunlight as he removes the cuffs from her wrists, and when she turns in his direction he takes a step back, holding out her wakizashi and tanto in one hand and her holsters of kunai in the other.

“ANBU shadow, huh?” she asks, taking her weapons one at a time and re-arming herself. “And that’s twenty-four seven, I’m guessing.”

“That’s right,” he growls.

 _Hmm._ She thinks for a moment, then shrugs. “They’re going to get bored quickly.”

Her interrogator doesn’t respond, and she tightens the second strap of her holster around her thigh and looks up at him. 

"So how are these evaluation meetings going to work, then?"

"I'll let you know."

"Alright...." She waits, but he doesn't elaborate. "And in the meantime?"

"In the meantime, don't do anything stupid," he snarls, and disappears in a swirl of leaves.

"File that one under 'well, duh'," she mutters, shaking her head.

Then she gets to exploring.


	3. A Place to Lay Her Head

Konohagakure is too damned big, and too damned _hot_ , she decides after a short while, and she Shunshins to the highest rooftop she can see.

“Alright,” she says, putting her hands on her hips. “If you’re going to stalk me, the least you can do is help me out.”

There’s nothing but the wind in response, and she sighs loudly.

“Look, I love sleeping in trees as much as the next ninja, but if I could just get directions to an inn, or hell, even a tavern that rents rooms, then I swear: I’ll make this job as easy as possible for you.”

The cat-masked female ANBU appears in a puff of smoke. “You talk too much.”

She laughs. “I’ve heard that a time or two, Neko-san.”

The ANBU points west. “There’s an inn five blocks that way.”

“Much obliged.” She nods to the sword on the masked ninja’s back. “You know how to use that thing?”

The blade flashes in the sun as it’s drawn and pointed at her. “Try me and find out.”

“Heyyy now.” She raises her empty hands with palms out, grinning widely. “You can put away your claw, kitty cat — I’m just looking for a sparring partner.”

“Call me kitty cat again and this claw will be the last thing you ever see.”

She rolls her eyes. “You Leaf shinobi sure like to make threats that you have no authority to follow through on.” 

Which reminds her… 

“And what’s up with Mr. Personality back there, anyway?”

The cat mask stares impassively as the ninjato is sheathed once more.

“Your genius interrogator?” She traces a finger from the end of her eyebrow down to her mouth, indicative of his scar. “You know — tall, dark and terrifying.”

There’s a snort of laughter. “Ibiki? What about him?”

 _Ibiki_ – so that’s his name.

She’d known him by description only — his height, the coat, and those scars were tell-tale enough — and the reputation of the man behind them, Konoha’s most feared and brilliant interrogator, had gone far over the last several years, far enough to reach her and Zabuza even as they’d lain low. 

She shakes her head. “Nothing. Thanks for the tip on the inn.” And she touches two fingers to her headband in a salute before starting to leap from roof to roof, heading west.

***

The inn is nice, but what’s even better: there’s a bar next door.

She gets the key to her room and immediately slips it in her pocket, walking over to where the whisky is waiting.

Scanning the room upon entry is a force of habit, and she notes two exits, as well as a wall of windows, as potential escape routes.

Especially since there’s a handful of shinobi in green flak vests seated around a table in a far corner.

She stays half-turned toward them as she orders and receives her drink — a single finger of whisky, neat — and she takes it to the opposite end of the bar where she can sit with her back to wall and a view of the entire establishment.

Five on one might be enough to get her blood pumping, she muses, and sizing them up is also out of habit.

Dimly she wonders if she should be drinking right now, as squirrelly and sad as she’s feeling.

 _… Fuck it._

She raises the glass in Zabuza’s memory and growls softly, “This one’s for you, love,” before finishing it in one swallow and baring her teeth at the burn in her chest that follows.

The bartender steps up and nods at her empty. “Another?”

“Please.”

Whisky number two goes down slower — she’s keeping one eye on the table of ninja across the room.

The five of them leave as she’s halfway through whiskey number three.

She stops counting after number four.

***

She doesn’t remember putting her head down on the bar, and it snaps up automatically when she feels someone put a hand on her shoulder.

”Don’t _fucking_ touch —!”

Cue the spins.

“Fucking _hell_ ,” she moans, bringing her face back to her folded forearms, vaguely surprised to feel wetness on her cheeks, and her eyes are stinging.

She was... crying?

She doesn't know.

Her voice is muffled. “Go away, whoever you are.”

Alternatively, they’re more than welcome to shove a blade in her neck — after a minute she’ll be in shock, two would likely have her unconscious, and after four, maybe less since she’s drunk — then she’ll be with Zabuza again.

And hell, she’s got more than enough metal on her to make it easy for them, even considers reaching for the small of her back to pass this stranger her tanto.

“How about I just sit here quietly instead?” asks a gentle, male voice, and she raises her head slowly before turning to look at the source.

Her mouth falls open at the sight of the blonde ninja. “You!”

Inoichi gives her a small, sad smile. “Hello, Kaiyō.”


	4. From Looking In to Looking Out

Inoichi Yamanaka does not, by any means, consider himself an unintelligent man.

He's a jonin, for one, and he's taught enough genin that are still living, still fighting, to know that he's more than capable of passing on sound advice for life both on the battlefield, and off.

Hell, he's best friends with a certified genius — and he keeps up pretty well with Shikaku, if he's being honest with himself.

With that being said, however — he's acutely aware that this may be one of the dumbest things he's ever done.

But he can't help himself: when he'd felt the chakra signature of the little kunoichi he'd mind-walked earlier that afternoon come into range outside of the flower shop, his heart had clenched in his chest.

The sheer amount of _pain_ he'd felt in her mind, along with the jagged pieces lodged where her heart should be... and all of it hidden behind deviously bright blue eyes and a laughing smile.

And yeah, maybe she’d reminded him, on some level, of his daughter — or more accurately, had made him think about where Ino could end up ten years from now.

He would want someone to give her a chance.

And that’s why, hours later — when the sun's gone down and he can't take it for one minute longer — Inoichi heads in the direction of the stationary chakra signature, walking out of the shop and feeling it get stronger with each step he takes.

He follows it to a bar a couple streets over, and pausing outside the door, he considers the ramifications of what he's about to do.

One of his former students is going to be pissed, most assuredly, and if anyone could throw a coronary at only twenty-eight, it would be Ibiki.

But no — no, he has to — Inoichi's seen the dark tendrils winding around her mindscape, heard the whispers in his own ears as his consciousness had merged with hers, and he's felt the pull toward Death's abyss as they'd stood on the edge and stared into the black below.

If she jumps now, it's on him.

The hair on the back of his neck stands up as he walks into the room, already feeling traces of KI at the threshold, and he spots her in the corner at the end of the bar, her head down and her face buried in her arms, one hand curled around a short and squat glass.

He realizes there's nobody within twenty feet of her when the bartender waves him over, down to the other end of the bar.

"What can I get you, shinobi-san?"

"Actually I'm here for my associate," Inoichi answers, nodding toward the younger woman. "Any particular reason you haven't cut her off?"

"Oh, I have — she just doesn't know it yet. She's had her head down for the last twenty minutes or so since finishing that one, but I'd rather not lose a hand trying to take it from her."

 _That's... entirely possible, actually._ "How many has she had?"

"Gotta be seven by now."

The jonin sighs, shaking his head, and pulls a few bills from the pocket of his flak vest. "That should be more than enough to cover it."

The bartender nods. "Thank you, shinobi-san."

Inoichi feels the Killing Intent thickening as he crosses the room, the menacing energy becoming almost tangible as he leans against the bar beside her.

He's not surprised she'd managed to get under Ibiki's defenses — he'd felt what she's capable of unleashing during the mind-walk — and even now, with her essentially unconscious, every base instinct he has is screaming for him to run, and the large muscles in his legs are full of adrenaline.

It's logic and sheer will keeping him in his position, and just in case, he palms a kunai with his right hand, reaching out with his left to place his palm on her shoulder.

Her head snaps up immediately. "Don't _fucking_ touch —!"

Then she closes her eyes tightly, her snarled words becoming a pained moan of "Fucking _hell_..." and she brings her face back down to her arms to mumble, "Go away, whoever you are."

 _Not a chance._ "How about I just sit here quietly instead?"

Slowly, her head raises again, and she turns, tipping her chin up to look him in the face.

Those blue eyes go wide, and her jaw drops. "You!"

 _Me._ He smiles down at her. "Hello, Kaiyō."

Abruptly, her surprise shifts, and now she's looking at him suspiciously. "What d'you want?"

 _Right, she is_ very _drunk._ "I want to talk to you."

"So start talking," she slurs, bringing the glass to her mouth, frowning at it upon realizing it's empty. "… Fuck."

"Do you need a place to stay tonight?" he asks quickly, before she can raise the empty in the bartender's direction. _And please do not tell me you've picked out a nice tree._

She snorts and glances sideways at him. "You're not really my type."

"You know that's not what I meant."

She shrugs. “I got a room next door.”

“Good, that’s good. How about we get you over there?”

“Meh….” She appears to consider it, then shrugs again. “Fine, but I gotta settle my tab first.”

“I took care of it already.”

Her eyes narrow. “Why would you do that?”

“To save the bartender from an early grave after telling you you’re cut off.” She looks confused, and he clarifies, “In case you haven’t noticed, you’re practically smoking this place out with Killing Intent.”

“What? …Ah, damn.” She closes her eyes, opening them after a long moment and frowning. “I can’t… I can’t turn it off…” She tries again with no success, and now he can see fear creeping into her expression as she breathes out shakily and whispers, “What the fuck?”

 _Time to go._

Inoichi stands up straight, taking a step back so that she can move freely. “Come on, let’s get you next door.”

She twists around, slipping forward off the stool to her feet, and her knees immediately buckle. 

He almost, _almost_ , reaches for her as she falls, before he remembers that she can’t stand being touched by anyone that’s not Zabuza or Kisame.

So instead he watches her hit the floor and let out a startled yelp, and when she looks around in confusion, that’s when he offers his hand.

“This is… not good,” she mumbles, reaching out and taking it. “Not… good.”

 _Yeah, it always kicks in when you stand up, kiddo._

“You can lean on me, if you want,” he says as he pulls her up easily and releases her hand. “You don’t have to, though.”

She’s weaving on her feet, but she gives him a wary once-over from head to toe, then nods. “… Alright.”


	5. Someone in Her Corner

Staring at Inoichi, she feels as if she’s standing on the surface of the ocean she’s named for, and in the middle of a squall at that.

She shakes her head once, then again — her vision has started to fuzz in and out, and she watches as the older man steps slowly and deliberately up to her side.

On a very, very deep level of her mind — one that’s just a little more sober than the rest - she knows the only reason she can tolerate the blonde man’s arm around her is precisely _because_ she’s as drunk as she is.

They make it out of the bar, and she raises her head to look up at the night sky. 

“Ooh,” she says softly. “I was in there for a _while_.”

“Were you now?” he answers pleasantly.

“Yeah….” There’s a tingling along her jawline, and she swallows compulsively. “Uh-oh.”

He stops walking. “Uh-oh?”

“I think…” More tingling, another swallow. “I think I’m gonna…” Her stomach clenches — _Yep._ "Fuck!" 

She shoves herself away from him, stumbling into the alley between the bar and the inn to be sick.

There’s nothing in her stomach but whisky, and it burns almost as much coming up as it did going down, making her cough in between heaves.

Aaand now her head is pounding, on top of everything. 

_Wonderful._

“Feel any better?” Inoichi asks, as she straightens and slinks out of the alley with her head down.

“Not really,” she mumbles in response.

He makes a sympathetic noise and raises his arm, and she leans on him again, fishing her room key out of her pocket and passing it over once they reach the right door.

She’s thinking he might not be so bad, mind tricks aside, as he unlocks the room and guides her to the bathroom, then waits patiently for her to rinse her mouth out before gently taking her arm and steering her toward the bed, leaving the lights off.

“Wait a minute.” She stops, unbuckling her belt keeping her wakizashi and tanto in their proper places, laying the blades at the foot of the second bed in the little room.

Maybe it’s the idea of sleeping with actual pillows, or fresh sheets, after more than a week of sleeping in trees or on the ground, or maybe it’s something else, but suddenly she is _tired_ , and her jaw cracks as she yawns widely.

“Lay down?” Inoichi suggests.

She stretches out on top of the blankets, sighing, and he sits cross-legged at her feet, his elbows on his knees as he looks over at her.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asks after a moment, half-afraid of what his answer might be.

“Because I know how you feel.” He holds up a hand as she frowns and opens her mouth, and he taps a finger to his temple. “I’ve been in here, remember?”

She’s quiet — he’d knocked her out at the beginning of the jutsu, and she doesn’t know what he has or hasn’t seen.

“You’re in a lot of pain,” he says quietly. “And you smile and you joke and you laugh because if you aren’t laughing, you’re crying, both inside and out.”

 _No. No no no._ She doesn’t want to hear this, not out loud — it’s bad enough banging around the inside of her skull all hours of the day and night.

And his voice is so goddamned _sad_ as he keeps talking.

“You don’t care in the slightest if you wake up tomorrow. You didn’t care if Ibiki, or hell, even me for that matter, decided you weren’t worth the hassle and opened up an artery or two, did you?”

Her throat tightens painfully, and she shakes her head.

“You just want the pain to stop.”

_Yes._

God, yes — she wants the pain to stop, to end.

But more than that, more than anything else — 

“I want him back,” she whispers, and hearing herself say it is enough to break her.

She starts sobbing like a child, because Zabuza’s not coming back, not ever — he’s gone and he’s left her all alone, after he’d promised her he never would.

She can see him in her mind — he’s flashing his pointed teeth at her in a confident grin before winding the bandages around his neck and the lower half of his face, and the only thing she can think about is that she’ll never feel those teeth nipping gently at her bottom lip, or any other part of her body, ever again.

The man at the foot of her bed shifts his position, and then there’s an arm settling around her shoulders and drawing her close.

She’s too far gone to care at this point, and she turns toward him and buries her face in his flak vest as she cries.

He holds her a little tighter and rests his chin atop her head.

“I’m not going to tell you it’s alright, because it’s not,” he says. “I know, it hurts more than anything, and it feels like it’ll never end, but it will. Eventually it will, that much I can promise you.”

He starts to rock her gently, forward and back, and as she trembles against him, she hates herself for being this weak in front of a stranger.

Inoichi is still murmuring comforting things, and after a few moments she lets gravity take over, her body slipping downward so that her head is resting on his thigh like a pillow.

He tucks her hair behind her ear and settles his palm over her cheek, gently brushing away her tears with his thumb.

“Now, listen to me,” he says softly. “You are not alone.”

She lets out a whimper, closing her eyes and nuzzling her face further into his haori and vest.

“You are not alone, Kaiyō — do you hear me?”

Trying, and failing, to stop her body from trembling any more, she exhales shakily. “… I hear you.”

“Good.”

He keeps petting her, and after a minute or so she sits up to look him in the eyes.

She’s… awed, by his compassion for her. 

“Thank you,” she says sincerely, inclining her head in respect.

He reaches forward and ruffles her shaggy hair. “I’m in your corner, kid — just remember that.”


	6. Life in Konoha Begins

She wakes with the sun streaming into the room, and her head pounds sharply as she opens her eyes, immediately closing them with a hiss of pain and burrowing under the covers.

As she lays still, it’s a strange feeling to have nothing to do.

Considering it, she decides she’s glad for the change and rolls onto her side, hugging her pillow and going back to sleep.

***

_She’s in their treehouse in the Land of Waves, sprawled on her back in the big bed with her hands laced behind her head as she stares at the ceiling._

_The sound of a whetstone against metal is steady, and to her it’s a comfort — it means safety._

_She turns her head, watching Zabuza’s powerful shoulder and arm work as he cares for Kubikiribōchō._

_He hasn’t wrapped his face and neck yet, and she studies the view of his profile as his eyes narrow in focus._

_“You’re staring,” he says after a few moments, glancing sideways and down at her._

_“I like the view,” she answers softly._

_He tests the blade’s edge with his thumb before nodding, satisfied, and now he smirks as he gives her his full attention._

_“Ask me nicely and I’ll give you a private show later.”_

_She laughs out loud, then keeps grinning happily because he only ever jokes with her, although even then it’s rare._

_Balancing the giant broadsword on his knee with the edge facing out, he leans over to kiss her._

_She kisses him back, her fingers threading through the soft and spiky black hair at his nape as she parts his lips with her tongue, and he growls in pleasure against her mouth._

_“Be safe tonight, love,” he breathes as he pulls back, and as she looks up into those brown eyes that have softened in their private, quiet moment, she makes the same promise that she does every time they’re about to part._

_“Always.”_

***

BAM BAM BAM!

She doesn’t want to wake up, not yet.

BAM BAM BAM!

She wants to slip back into the warm darkness, back into Zabuza’s arms for that private show he’d been in the middle of giving her.

But no, there’s someone pounding on the window of her room, and she sits upright with her lips pulled back in a furious snarl, looking toward the expanse of glass.

The pounding stops, and an ANBU appears.

Just — appears.

Not in a puff of smoke or swirl of leaves, typical of a Konoha shinobi arriving in a Shunshin, and not in a flash of color coming from some direction, indicative of _anyone_ using a Shunshin and just not bothering to mask their approach.

No, he just _appears_ , invisible one moment, a crouched masked figure the next.

 _I have_ got _to learn how to do that_ , she thinks, before abruptly realizing _this motherfucker_ is the one that woke her up.

“What do you _want_?” she growls, knowing full well he can read her lips.

He points to her, then to his head, then draws a finger across his throat before finally shrugging and flashing her a thumbs down, then flipping it up.

He hadn’t known if she was dead or alive?

_Fuck... Inoichi must have talked to someone._

She rolls her eyes and gives him a thumbs up, then flicks both hands at him in a shoo-ing motion.

He gives her another thumbs up before flashing through a few hand-signs, and he disappears again without moving another muscle.

 _Yep, gotta learn that one for_ sure, she thinks, throwing the covers aside, and she glances at the clock.

It’s later than she would have liked, but there’s plenty of time to do some training and get in a good bit more exploration of Konoha.

***

She stops for a drink in what she’s pretty sure is the seedier part of the village at the moment, mixing the whisky with soda this time because if she takes it straight right now she might just throw up again.

Her head turns as she catches a trace of a familiar scent, and she spots a scruffy looking civilian nearby with a very relaxed smile on his face. 

_Hmm...._

It’s been a little while since she’s enjoyed any of what she’s mulling over.... and considering she’s essentially supposed to sit on her hands for the next twenty-nine days?

_… Fuck it._

She needs something to take the edge off, and at least this won’t make her throw up in a back alley at the end of the night.

Mind made up, she reels in her ambient KI, bringing it down to borderline non-existent, and approaches the civilian with a friendly smile.

***

Not long later she has what she’s after, and when she’s pocketed it and ambled a suitable ways away, she leaps to the tallest nearby roof and calls out to her ANBU shadow.

“Yo, stalker!”

He appears in a puff of smoke this time — the same one that had woken her up this morning. “What’s up?”

“What are your village’s policies on smoking?”

“Not in public places,” he says with a shrug. “That goes for cigarettes and cigars and such. And as for what you just bought, I couldn’t care less about _you_ —” his shoulders square as he stands a little taller “— but you do not do it around anyone underage, or we’ll have a problem.”

“Understood.” She nods an affirmative. “So where would ‘not-public’ be then, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Mostly the training grounds, or any place without a lot of structures that people would be in or around on a regular basis. Just use your judgement, or ask whoever’s shadowing you if you aren’t sure.”

“Training grounds — got it, thanks.”

She hops rooftops toward the mountain with the faces of the Hokage carved into it, and she snorts in amusement when she spots the winding staircase — that's got to be what they'd dragged her all the way up the day before.

Closing her eyes, she Shunshins to the foot of the steps, then takes the trip in bursts so that she doesn't lose her ANBU shadow.

Once she's reached the top, she stands with her hands on her hips and looks out over the village as the sun starts to dip toward the horizon.

"Don't even think about it," the ANBU says as he appears at her side in a swirl of leaves. "You die on our watch of anything but natural causes, and Inoichi will have our heads."

"Gravity is perfectly natural," she replies off-handedly, but she takes a step back from the edge anyway to appease him.

He laughs in a short burst, shaking his head. "Smart-ass."

"Never heard that one before." She gives him an exaggerated eye roll before pointing to the east, where a river is winding through the village. "Are those training grounds over there?"

"Yeah, there's a few that way."

"Good, that's where I'll be."

***

She kicks off her sandals and chooses a tree with sturdy-looking branches that hang over the river, the spray kicking up high enough to leave tiny droplets on her skin as she straddles the branch with her feet dangling.

The hand-rolled comes together from muscle memory and she puts it between her teeth, then curses as realizes she's got no lighter.

"Here." The ANBU leans over from a neighboring branch and passes her a cheap plastic one. "Noticed you forgot that earlier."

"Well, aren't you sweet?" she asks, only slightly sarcastically. "This might almost make up for you waking me so rudely this morning."

"Orders are orders." He shrugs nonchalantly as she lights up and takes a long draw. "And like I said: you die on our watch and Inoichi is going to be pissed, and then Ibiki will take it out on all of us."

Holding the smoke in, she nods in understanding then reclines to lay on her back, exhaling only after her lungs start to burn. "I get the feeling your uptight tiger comrade might actually crack a smile at the news though."

If he's surprised she's marked the scarred man as ANBU, he says nothing to let her know.

"... I'm going to be here awhile," she says without looking at him, instead gesturing widely to the tree and the river below. "So you might as well get comfortable."

"Shift change soon," he answers. "But we'll be around." 

The smoke of his departure mingles with the smoke of her next exhale.

***

**Ibiki's usual scowl deepens behind the tiger mask.**

**He'd put himself on the shadow rotation in the interest of fairness to his operatives, but he's regretting the decision in spades as he makes his approach in the setting sun.**

**The ANBU currently shadowing the Kiri-nin is sitting in a tree ten meters from her, his back to the trunk and his gaze facing her direction.**

**"Status?"**

**"All clear," the other man answers, getting to his feet and pointing to a tree across the river. "She's been laid out over there for a while now."**

**"Doing what?"**

**"A whole lot of nothing."**

**He sighs inwardly and nods — "Dismissed." — then takes up the same position his operative had been in with his back to the tree trunk, and he stretches one long leg along the branch in front of him, letting the other one dangle as he folds his arms over his broad chest.**

**He’s already annoyed because he hasn't been able to get the rogue kunoichi out of his mind since yesterday, especially after she'd managed to get under his mental defenses — _him_ , of all people — and flash him that bloody vision of his death.**

**While his immediate response had been absolute fury, after he'd calmed down he'd been forced to re-evaluate her.**

**And the simple fact that he’d read her completely wrong is frustrating him to no end.**

**On top of that, if he's being honest with himself, he knows that she's right: the Leaf could use another ninja of her level.**

**So, even as loathe as he is to roll out any welcome mats, he's decided to be, at the very most, civil.**

**Just as long as she doesn't push him.**

**And besides, his old sensei has apparently decided to pseudo-adopt the Kiri-nin, as much as any twenty-three year old can be adopted anyway, and though he respects Inoichi Yamanaka too much to outwardly oppose him, that doesn’t mean he has to like it.**

**All in all, he’s thinking that as long as she continues to play nicely, everything should be fine.**

***

She’s pleasantly mellow, her body humming happily as the sound of the rushing water below fills her ears, and with her eyes closed she can almost pretend she’s back in the Land of Waves.

The ANBU had mentioned the shifts would be changing soon, and she wonders idly if Ibiki has shadowed her at all, watching her every move from behind his snarling tiger mask.

 _Striped mask over a striped face_ , she thinks, and she wonders how he’d managed to let himself get marked up that way.

_Not a bad-looking face, either…._

She shakes her head sharply to clear the thought from her mind. _Mourn your dead properly, damn you._

But thinking about tigers has given her an idea, and she opens her eyes and stands, weaving slightly from side to side and grinning happily as she focuses her chakra to her feet to make her way down to the ground with falling on her face.

***

**He stands immediately when she sits up and starts climbing down from the tree, and he follows silently through the branches above her as she moves into a good-sized clearing where the moonlight is bright enough to cast shadows.**

**She reaches for the tanto at the small of her back, and his body tenses in preparation to spring —**

**But she only pricks her thumb before sheathing the blade and smearing the blood across her palm, and he watches as her hands flash through a familiar sequence of symbols: I - Inu - Tori - Saru - Hitsuji — a Summoning Jutsu.**

**The size of the smoke cloud that appears when she slaps her bloody palm against the ground is enough to make him wary, and he sinks further back into the shadows as a two large, lithe shapes lunge forward and land side by side in a crouch, long tails lashing back and forth.**

**When the smoke clears and he registers what she's summoned, he stifles an amused chuckle.**

**_Well, isn't that interesting?_ **


	7. Good Company

She gasps delightedly at the sight of the juvenile tigers with their striped coats puffed and long fangs bared.

"Kakki! Genki! You guys got BIG!"

Their heads rise simultaneously as their eyes go wide.

"Kaiyō!" the one to the right exclaims joyfully, and he rears onto his hind legs.

She launches her entire body forward, bowling the big but gangly cat over in a tackle that sends the both of them tumbling to the ground, and as she rolls him onto his back and buries her face in the fur under his chin the other tiger leaps into the fray and lands on her back, tugging at her collar with his teeth and snarling playfully.

They wrestle, rolling over and over until she wriggles free and pops to her feet, ducking and weaving as she boxes with Genki, but then Kakki stands on his hind legs to drape his front paws over her shoulders from behind, chuffing in her ear.

"No fair!" she laughs, and as she stumbles under his weight Genki's paw slaps her solidly on the side of her face, though thankfully with his claws sheathed, and she lets out a yelp as the blow takes her off her feet.

"We missed you!" Kakki yowls as they fall again, and he shoves his face forward to nuzzle against hers. "It's been so _long_!"

***

**Gods damn him, but he can't help but smile as he watches her play with the pair of sizable, but clearly still young, striped cats.**

**She's not unattractive as her face lights with genuine joy, and he hates that the thought crosses his mind to begin with.**

**"How's Chikara-sama doing?" she asks, after they've collapsed into a relaxed and tangled pile of limbs and fur.**

**"Grumpy as always," one of them answers, flicking an ear. "But I bet he'd probably be glad to see you."**

**"Maybe I'll visit soon," she says thoughtfully. "In a couple months or so."**

**"Months?"**

**"A month is sort of like a moon, just a little longer."**

**"So two moons?" The tiger's voice sounds hopeful.**

**"I'll try." She reaches over and scratches one of them under the chin, and amber eyes close happily.**

**"You smell like sadness, Kaiyō," the other says, rolling to rest his head on her lower torso. "Why are you so sad?"**

**She sighs. "... Zabuza and Haku are hunting in the Beyond now, Genki."**

**"No!"**

**"Yes," she answers, her voice breaking on the single syllable, and now sorrow ages her far beyond twenty-three as Ibiki continues watching, the two tigers cuddling closer as she starts to cry softly.**

**He frowns as his chest tightens with sympathy. _What the fuck?_**

**Why is this getting to him?**

**He reduces people to this state and worse, for a _living_ for fuck's sake, and he's never been one to be swayed by tears before.**

**_Maybe it’s the fact that there’s no deception in her emotions_ ….**

**He’s used to forcing the truth out of people… but she hasn’t lied to him once, and she’s not bothering to hide anything from him, Inoichi, or even any of his operatives.**

**_Or maybe it’s those eyes…._ he muses absentmindedly, looking down at the brilliant blue irises that are currently sparkling with tears as they stare up at the night sky.**

**His lips pull back in a silent snarl. What the fuck is _wrong_ with him? Why is this rogue Kiri-nin pressing all of his buttons, including ones he wasn’t sure he even had?**

**Konoha has lots of beautiful women to be sure, but none of them have ever piqued his interest quite like this.**

**He groans inwardly. _Why_ her _of all people_?**

***

“We can’t stay much longer,” Genki says, after the moon has travelled quite a bit across the sky.

She untangles herself and sits up. “You two get home. It was good to see you.”

“Summon us again soon!” Kakki says quickly. “We want to fight something!”

“I’ll see if I can find someone to spar with us, how about that?”

He groans as he stands up, stretching his long body until his tail curls forward. “I guess that would be okay.”

“Don’t whine, gaki — you know Chikara-sama and your mother would eat me alive if I let either of you get hurt.”

“That’s probably true.”

She hugs them both as they stand side by side, and they disappear at the same time in a single cloud of smoke.

***

The trip back to the inn doesn’t take too long — she’s picked out a few landmarks for learning Konoha as quickly as possible, and she drops her weapons on the second bed and then gathers clothing to bring into the bathroom to wash up.

Her stomach growls loudly as she steps out of the shower, but she ignores it and dries off, pulling on a soft and sleeveless black shirt she’d stolen from Zabuza several weeks before, along with the equally soft pair of Kaiyō-sized black pants he’d bought specifically for her when she’d cheerfully announced he wouldn’t be getting the shirt back.

Her throat tightens at the memories, and she slips into bed and burrows beneath the covers, hugging one of her pillows to her chest.

He’d demanded the shirt back, of course, and she’d refused, keeping just out of his reach until he’d lunged for her.

She’d dodged him and bolted, her face split in a wide grin as he’d chased her throughout the tree-house until she’d finally let him catch her.

He wouldn’t have, if she hadn’t — and it was only when he’d started to slow down that she’d given him a break.

And oh, when he’d caught her… they’d wrestled briefly for the shirt until he’d pinned her, and then – well, it was no great stretch of the imagination what happened next.

She squeezes her eyes closed and hugs the pillow tighter, not sure if she wants to dream tonight or not.


	8. A Spiral's Sudden Stop

She pulls a pillow over her head to block out the sun — the bed is soft and warm and she has nowhere to be.

She falls back to sleep.

***  
BAM BAM BAM!

She sticks her fist out from beneath the blankets with her thumb up, and the banging on the window stops. 

She falls back to sleep.

*** 

She wakes — the room is dark, she's dehydrated, and her head is pounding.

She converts some of her chakra to water to soothe the ache in her head and the soreness in the rest of her body.

She falls back to sleep.

***  
BAM BAM BAM!

 _Fuck off. You don't give a shit about me._

BAM BAM BAM!

She sticks her fist out from beneath the blankets with her middle finger extended, and the banging on the window stops.

She falls back to sleep.

***

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

It's the door they're pounding on this time, and she doesn't bother to open her eyes.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

_Get fucked._

She rolls from her side to her stomach and pulls the blankets over her head again.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

"Go 'way," she mumbles into the pillow she's hugging.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

"Fuck _off_ ," she says a little louder.

"Open the damned door!"

She opens her eyes, frowning — that had sounded like Inoichi.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

"Open this door before I break it down, Kaiyō!"

She snorts softly. _You won't_.

**_CRASH!_ **

The cheap wooden door explodes inward, and she scrambles out of the bed, landing on her rear end with a yelp.

Inoichi's voice is strained. "Gods _damnit_ , Ibiki — I was _bluffing_!" 

"I wasn't," growls the head of T&I, and he strides into the room and looks down at her. "Get up."

She scowls up at him. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"At the moment, you are. Now get the fuck up."

She stands slowly, mentally measuring her reach for an uppercut to his scarred chin.

It's less than favorable, but she is _pissed_.

He glares at her like he knows what she's thinking. "Try it — I dare you."

Inoichi steps forward quickly, getting in between them with his back to Ibiki's chest, and the older man doesn't look happy as she meets his eyes.

"What are you doing, Kaiyō?"

"I was sleeping, until you apparently decided I'm not allowed to do that anymore."

"Not for three damned days you aren't! Go shower and get some clean clothes on — we're going to get some food in you."

"Not hungry."

"Too fucking bad," Ibiki says flatly, stepping out from behind the blonde man and moving to the decimated door. "And pack your bag, you aren't staying here anymore."

She bristles, her KI flaring hotly as she speaks through clenched teeth. "And just where the fuck am I going."

The scarred man glances over his shoulder, over the tall collar of the long black coat, and his voice is deadly soft.

"You have five seconds to cut that out and do as you were just told, or I'll have your ass thrown in a medical cell on suicide watch before you can fucking blink."

She lunges for him with murder in her mind, but Inoichi catches her by the upper arm and yanks her back sharply.

"That is ENOUGH!" he roars, and suddenly he's in her mind again, and she lets out a hoarse cry as he brings an image of Zabuza directly to the front of her thoughts. "You think he'd be happy with you right now?"

"Shut up," she whispers, pulling her arm from his grasp as her eyes start to sting.

He bears down on her consciousness with the image. "You think he'd want you to roll over like this? To just give up?"

"Get out of my head!" Her hands go to her temples, and the tears spill over.

"Then _fight this_ , damn you!" And he gives her a vision of herself at Zabuza's side, her blue eyes flashing and a fierce smile on her face. "Or at the very least let us help you through it!"

A harsh sob rips its way from her throat, and he catches her as she falls, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close even as she shoves at him.

"Let me go!"

"No."

"Let me _GO!_ "

"Not a chance, kiddo," he says softly, holding her tighter. "Fight me all you want — I'm here for you."

She stops struggling and takes a deep breath, her forehead against his collarbone and every one of her muscles rigid. 

"FUUUUUUUCK!"

She screams for all she’s worth, until it feels like her throat splits open, and then she goes limp as she starts sobbing in earnest, and Inoichi sinks slowly down to the floor with her still in his arms.

"There you go," he whispers, drawing her legs across his lap and tucking her head between his neck and the collar of his flak vest. “There you go....”

***

**_Fucking hell...._ **

**Ibiki's frustrations disappear as he stands in the hall outside her room.**

**The raw, genuine _anguish_ in her scream... it's got his throat tightening up on him, and he shoves his gloved hands in his pockets and stares at the floor as she finally accepts comfort in his sensei's arms.**

**Inoichi had done the same for him once, almost three years ago, after his little brother had been killed in front of him.**

**The initial rage had given him the strength to break the ropes tying him down, and he'd murdered Aoi with his bare hands.**

**After he'd watched the life disappear from the other man's eyes, he'd staggered out of the burning shack, clawing at his flaming vest with broken and bloody fingers until he'd ripped it off, and then he'd headed for Konoha.**

**And when his adrenaline had subsided, he'd crawled the rest of the way.**

**The stay in the hospital had been long — his hands were all but ruined, his back and shoulders were badly burned, and then there had been the mess of his head.**

**He'd been too focused on simply surviving, and then recovering, to mourn Idate properly, but after he'd been released from the hospital... he'd fallen quickly into misery in their empty house, and it had been several days before Inoichi had found him as they'd found her.**

**Except Ibiki had been staring into the bottle of whisky he'd had in one hand and spinning a kunai in the other, and there had been a tense stand-off until he'd abruptly pitched the knife over his shoulder and gone to his knees, and then he'd collapsed into the older man's arms when his sensei had knelt down in front of him.**

**He's pulled out of the memories when he sees Inoichi and Kaiyō get to their feet in his periphery, and he drops his gaze to the floor again when she moves to the bathroom and the blonde shinobi steps into the hall.**

**"You are not throwing her in a medical cell." The words are quiet, but firm.**

**"No," he answers steadily. "Not today at least... but if she doesn't improve by staying with you, then I won't have much of a choice."**

**And if it does in fact get to that point, he'll just as soon consider putting her out of her misery as a kindness, but he keeps that to himself.**

***

She washes her short and shaggy hair once, scrubs her body down, and washes her hair again before she steps out of the shower, and she has to admit that she feels marginally better as she towels off.

Ruffling the terry-cloth over her head to dry her hair, she catches sight of her reflection in the mirror and freezes in place.

_Holy hell…_

She barely recognizes herself — her face is drawn, with dark circles around her eyes, and the normally brilliant shades of blue are flat and dull and just… empty.

It’s unnerving, and she turns her back to her reflection as she pulls on her last set of clean clothes: a white, sleeveless shirt and matching white pants.

Inoichi is waiting outside the bathroom as she moves back into the room, toweling her hair some more before hanging the damp cloth around her neck.

“ _Kirigakure no Yōkai_ ,” Ibiki says from out in the hall. “The Ghost of the Hidden Mist.”

She’s surprised, but she keeps her voice steady, even if it’s a little hoarse, and her face impassive. “I haven’t heard that name in a long time.”

He shrugs, for once not scowling at her, but not smiling either. “You look like your Bingo Book photo is all I meant.”

She doesn’t answer that and turns back toward Inoichi. 

She’s debating putting him on her “Allowed-to-Touch-Freely” list, and she realizes abruptly that with Zabuza dead, and Kisame gone only-gods-know-where for the last several years, the blonde shinobi would be the only one on it.

And considering she can still count their number of interactions on one hand, she feels like he’s more than earned the spot with the way he’s treated her — she has no idea why, but he actually seems to give a damn about her well-being, enough to put his hands on her in a Killing Rage, even — and now she makes the decision fully as he looks at her with honest concern on his face.

“Feel better?”

“Yeah,” she answers quietly, and he nods in approval.

“Good.” He hands over her pack, stuffed full of her clothes. “You can wash all that at the house later.”

“House? What house?” She looks from the pack to Ibiki, and back to Inoichi, stunned as it clicks. “ _Your_ house?”

“My house, yes.”

“But why would you… ?”

“Because giving you a long leash is proving problematic,” Ibiki says dryly.

“Last time I checked, you’re the one destroying private property,” she snaps — she’s still pissed at him for the suicide watch threat.

“And you’re the one giving me a reason to.”

Oh, there’s an argument there to be _sure_ , but she bites her tongue as Inoichi closes his eyes and leans his head back in exasperation at the two of them, and instead she pulls the pack across her shoulders and buckles on her belt with her blades.

“So, where to?” she asks, folding her arms.

“Food,” the blonde man answers immediately. “When was the last time you ate anything?”

“Don’t remember, actually.” She laughs without humor and looks around at Ibiki. “I’m sure one of your ANBU put it in their report though.”

“No, they haven’t,” he deadpans. “Because you haven’t eaten anything since you got to the fucking village.”

She frowns — _That can’t be right…._ — but thinking about it, her eyes widen as she realizes it’s true.

“You’re not serious.” Inoichi is looking at Ibiki over her head. “That was five days ago.”

“Seven whisky neats five days ago, which you were witness to her throwing up in the alley next door, one whisky and soda four days ago in the afternoon, and that’s it.” The scarred man shrugs one shoulder. “The reports are thorough.”

_Bet the last three days have been short ones, hmm?_

She’s also legitimately not hungry in the slightest, but she knows neither of them will tolerate hearing it, and the memory of her reflection’s drawn face freaks her out enough to think she really should eat something.

There should be a ramen place a few blocks over, if she’s remembering right, and she thinks she can force a bowl down.

“If you two are going to keep discussing stalking reports, I’m going to go get some ramen,” she speaks up. “I don’t remember what the place is called, but I know where it is.”

“Ichiraku,” supplies Inoichi. “Good choice, I’ll follow you.”

She nods, then tilts her head at Ibiki. “You coming, Tora-san?”

She’d fished for a reaction without expecting one, and amazingly she’s rewarded with a slight narrowing of the big man’s eyes.

If she’s honest with herself, she really _shouldn’t_ be pushing him — that medical cell isn’t off the table yet – but for one: he invites the teasing like blood invites sharks by being so gods damned serious all the time; and for two: she’s never had much of a filter between her brain and her mouth to begin with.

He doesn’t answer, and she shrugs a shoulder off-handedly and moves through the ruined door and past him into the hall.

Hooking a thumb over her shoulder, she gestures to the mess of splintered wood behind her.

"I'm not paying for that."


	9. Troublesome Twelve-Year Olds

She’s finishing her second bowl of ramen, one with actual toppings this time, because halfway through the first bowl of plain noodles her body had started howling with hunger as it snapped out of whatever stasis her grief had kept her in.

Inoichi is sitting to her right with his chin resting in his hand, and Ibiki is gone, the scarred bastard having mumbled something about “actual work to do” before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

Her mood is improving steadily as her body grows warm, her belly full, and then a mess of spiky blonde hair appears on her left, climbing onto a stool.

She turns to find a _horribly_ brightly-dressed pre-teen in an orange jumpsuit, and she recognizes him immediately as one of Kakashi’s genin.

Inoichi tugs lightly on the hem of her shirt, and she hears his voice in her mind: **_Time to go._**

She ignores him, focusing on the kid. “What’s your name?”

“Naruto Uzumaki!”

**_Kaiyō, let’s go._ **

“One sec,” she says over her shoulder, then turns her attention back to the genin. “Haven’t you ever heard of stealth?”

“Duh!” He pulls his bowl closer.

“And yet you persist in wearing ‘kill-me-now’ bright orange?"

**_Do not make me knock you out and drag you._ **

Naruto only slurps his ramen. “I like it.”

_Your funeral._ She shakes her head, then turns around to address Inoichi.

“Do _not_ threaten me like that again,” she says, low enough that only he can hear her. “I’ve played nicely so far, but I can outrun you, and _all_ of your village's ANBU with very, _very_ little effort.”

He blinks once in surprise, then frowns. ”Are you sure about that?”

 _Keep fucking with me and find out,_ she thinks, and smiles darkly at him. “Yes, I am. Though as fun as that might be, I really don’t feel like it at the moment," she adds when his eyes widen slightly.

And yeah, maybe she respects him _just_ enough to make her think twice about bolting and leaving a trail of broken, bloody bodies in her wake — but she's not going to tell him that, not just yet.

Although her resolve wavers as he continues frowning at her, looking a little hurt, actually, and she puffs out a sigh, dropping his gaze and looking down at the bar in front of her.

Forcing the stiffness out of her body, she ducks her head and leans to the side, resting her weight against his shoulder and hoping he reads the gesture for the apology it is.

After a moment, Inoichi reaches across his body and lightly ruffles her hair with his free hand.

**_I'd say you're a lot of bark, but you've got the bite to back it up._ **

"Damn straight," she replies, sitting up and turning to look at Nauto again. "Tell me you've at least got some skills to save your scrawny moving target of an ass."

"Believe it! I'm an ace ninja, and you'd better remember my name because one day I'm going to be the greatest Hokage this village has ever seen!"

She snorts in derision. "Not if you keep dressing like that, you won't."

"You're the one wearing all white!" he retorts, scowling at her.

"I'm off duty, and I can take care of myself, brat." She disappears abruptly and reappears on the stool to his other side, flicking him hard on the ear.

"Hey!" Naruto yelps, whipping around to face her. 

She only pulls a few bills from her pocket and passes them to the girl behind the counter before turning her attention back to him.

"Here's some free advice: if you're going to insist on being visible, then be fast."

Inoichi is shaking his head as they duck out of the ramen stall.

 _Kid does seem like a right little ray of sunshine, lack of common sense aside,_ she thinks, slipping her hands in her pockets as they walk. _It'll be a shame when someone kills him._

"He's a funny one, that Naruto," the older man comments. "Though he's _all_ bark, from what my daughter's told me — apparently he graduated dead last in his class, and only just barely."

Her head whips around as she stops in her tracks. "Your what now?"

He turns toward her, eyebrows raised. "My daughter?"

_Oh._

_Oh , fuck._

"... Are you _sure_ you want me in your house?" she asks slowly.

He frowns. "Is there something that I need to be worried about?"

"No." She shifts awkwardly on her feet. "No, I just..."

"Talk to me."

"It's just...." She fidgets some more, adjusting her pack, scuffing her heel against the ground. "I mean, I'm... well I'm house trained and all, but... I didn't think you'd trust me enough to... you know," she mumbles, folding her arms. "... Be around your kid."

She's also feeling even more guilty now, for threatening him the way she had, and the fact remains that she's no great shakes with kids to being with — Haku had been a skilled fighter, and wise far beyond his years.

"We'll work on your people skills," Inoichi says, shrugging. "And as long as you continue to play nicely, I won't have to pull out any of my nastier jutsu on you."

"Oh?" She's intrigued. "Like what?"

He only shakes his head with a smile and starts walking again. "Maybe later, kiddo. 

"Tease." She shoves him playfully, and he laughs out loud as he stumbles a step forward.

***

The daughter, Ino, is all but a miniature version of her father, pony-tail and all, with the only difference being her eyes are blue to his green, and the girl squeaks a hello and takes a wary step back, looking from Kaiyō to Inoichi and back again as introductions are made.

She gives the kid a once-over and nods. "Well, you don't dress like you have a death-wish, at least."

Ino's eyes widen, and her gaze snaps back to her father as she lets out another squeak.

 _Well, fuck._ She adjusts her pack again, trying to look harmless.

"Right...," Inoichi says slowly, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh, I guess you can follow me to your room, then."

She flashes a smile at the kid as she walks by, and all she gets in response is one last squeak before the miniature Yamanaka disappears from view.

_Ah, hell._


	10. Tattoos and Teachings

The pain isn’t actual pain, just a steadily burning vibration where the lines are appearing on her fair skin.

The whirring of the tattoo gun pauses briefly and she remains still, sitting stiffly in the chair with her arm in the artist’s grasp, enduring the stranger's touch only for the sake of what she's here for.

“Pretty nice piece,” the civilian comments as he wipes away beading blood.

“Hn.” She’s not interested in small talk at the moment.

“You want it filled in, yeah? Shaded and all that?”

“Yes.”

“You need a break?” he asks, switching out the needle.

“No.”

“Right on.”

And the burning begins again.

***

The civilian lifts the gun for the last time as the tattoo is completed. “There you go.”

She waits as he cleans the blood again and then applies a healing salve before wrapping her forearm in plastic. “Thanks.”

They step up to the counter, and he nods at the tattoo. “So what’s it mean?”

“It’s a memorial.”

“Ahh.” He nods, his expression somber. “Sorry for your loss.”

She inclines her head and pays, adding in a nice tip. “I’ll see you for the next one.”

“Right on.”

***

Next stop is the hospital, and the medic-nin at the counter hurriedly guides her to a small room off the main lobby only moments after she’s stepped up to the desk, her blank-masked ANBU shadow taking up a post outside the door.

“You get a lot of these?” she asks as the woman unwraps her forearm.

“Not that often,” is the reply. “Hold still please.”

She watches interestedly as the swirling green energy gathers, and the feel of the medic-nin’s chakra against hers is warm as she draws a palm from the crook of her elbow all the way down to her wrist and back in slow, steady passes.

The tattoo itches fiercely as it undergoes the rapid healing, and she grits her teeth – the feeling is worse than actually getting the ink.

After another two passes, the medic-nin releases her and steps away. “You’re good to go.”

She hops down from the table and follows the white-robed ninja out into the lobby.

“Well, let’s see it then,” the ANBU says, and she grins, raising her arm to show off the tattoo.

Kubikiribōchō spans the length of the inside of her forearm, the broadsword’s handle beginning at the crook of her elbow, the blade ending at her wrist.

“Very nice.” He nods, in what she assumes is admiration from his tone of voice.

“Isn’t it, though.” She’s beyond pleased with the way the tattoo’s turned out, and the sharp ache in her heart has dulled a bit now that she knows she’ll carry a part of Zabuza with her for the rest of her life.

***

Inoichi only raises his eyebrows at the sight of the fresh ink as she assists in setting the table at dinner that evening.

Ino’s trepidation has decreased, little by little, over the last couple of days, and she looks curiously at the depiction of the sword. “Hey, Dad…”

“No.”

***

The next morning, she’s up with the kid, leaning against the kitchen counter and snagging a piece of toast in mid-air as it pops up from the toaster. 

“Who’s your sensei, squeaker?”

“Asuma Sarutobi.”

“Your Hokage is Hiruzen Sarutobi.” She bites into the toast and watches the little blonde as she chews. 

“Um, I think that’s his dad.”

 _Not completely clueless, then._ “Mind if I tag along with you today?”

She wants to see what this kid is made of, and maybe get a sparring session in with the sensei.

 _Let the kiddies see what a couple of_ real _ninja can do._

Ino looks terrified at the prospect. "Uhh... sure, yeah... okay." 

“Look, I’m not going to hurt you, alright? So calm down.” She takes another bite and gestures to between them with the bread. “And you’re going to need to get used to being around Killing Intent if you want to make it as a ninja.”

“Is that… is that what that feeling is?”

She sharpens her KI and prods it lightly at the genin. “That?”

Ino flinches in response. “That.”

“Yes, that is Killing Intent, or KI for short. And here's the thing — it can’t actually hurt you."

"It can't?"

"Nope. It’s just a way of letting people know you mean business. Although," she adds, figuring she might as well be thorough, "Sometimes, if the KI is strong enough, it can be used to play some nasty tricks on the mind.”

“Like a genjutsu?”

“Kind of, but not exactly.” Curiosity is getting the better of the kid now, she can tell. 

Ino's head tilts to the side. “Could… could I do it?”

She snorts in amusement. “Not yet, squeaker. You’ve never lifted a hand against anything that was actually trying to kill you, have you?”

“Well, no….”

“And I sincerely doubt you’ve ever killed anything besides a houseplant, and by accident at that.”

“There haven’t been any plant casualties in this house since she was four,” Inoichi says as he strolls into the kitchen and opens the fridge. “And why are we discussing death this early in the morning?”

“I was explaining KI.”

He straightens abruptly, looking from Kaiyō to Ino and back, then sighs before sitting down at the table. “I suppose I signed up for this.”

“I have to go.” Ino hugs him tightly, calling over her shoulder as she leaves the kitchen, “Kaiyō’s coming to train with us today!”

Inoichi chokes on his orange juice, and the Kiri-nin only flashes him a wide smile before disappearing in a swirl of mist.


	11. Underestimate Me - That'll Be Fun

Sarutobi isn't so bad.

He's got a wicked sense of humor that she can respect, but as the smirk had curled his lips when he’d agreed to spar with her, she’d known immediately that he'd done what every other man has done the second they lay eyes on her in all her five-foot-nothing glory.

He'd underestimated her.

And when the heel of Kaiyo's hand had slammed into the bottom of his bearded chin and knocked him silly for a split second, the look on Ino and the other genins' faces had been pretty sweet.

But after he'd spit out the blood from his bitten tongue, Asuma had gotten serious, and she'd felt the KI start to seep from him as they'd squared off again.

And now she's blind in one eye from a cut through her eyebrow that won't stop _fucking bleeding_ , and she ducks this time instead of leaning back when one of those oh-so-interesting trench knives comes at her head again, flipping her tanto around in her hand and swiping at his stomach.

The tip of the blade splits open his flak jacket as he skips backward to avoid being gutted, and she spots her opening, setting her feet and launching her entire body at him, her shoulder slamming into his solar plexus.

His breath _whuffs_ out of his chest as she takes him off his feet, and in a blink she's straddling his chest with the edge of her knife to his throat.

"You're dead, jonin." She grins savagely, then gets off him and extends a hand.

"And you are unorthodox," he answers with a wry smile, grabbing the offered hand and letting her pull him to his feet. "A body slam, really?"

"Gotta take what you can get, eh? Besides, it worked."

"True." He shrugs, then gives her a once over from head to foot. "You're a hell of a lot heavier than you look."

"That would be called _muscle_."

Asuma barks a laugh, then turns toward his team. "I hope you all learned something."

Three pairs of wide eyes stare mutely back at him, and he shakes his head with a sigh and pulls three cards from an inside pocket of his ruined flak jacket.

"I recommended the three of you for the Chunin Exams." He passes a card to each of them. "These are your applications, and you'll need to bring them to the Academy at the end of the week if you want to take the test."

She pauses in the middle of mopping her bloody face and frowns. _There is no way in_ hell _these squeakers are ready for that._

And Ino looks particularly troubled as she reads over the card before tucking it away.

 _Hmm... you and I are going to be putting in some_ work _this week, kiddo._.

She leaves the team to finish their training, heading to the river and hopping to a rock in the middle of the rushing water.

The cut in her left eyebrow is deep, and it stings fiercely as she cleans it out, cursing as she pinches it closed because now it's dribbling blood again.

But at least she can see out of both eyes now, and in her periphery the cat-masked female ANBU appears on the bank in a swirl of leaves, holding up a curved needle and a spool of thread. 

"You're going to need a few stitches if you want that to heal properly."

"Are you volunteering to play nurse, Neko-san?" It'll involve being touched, but she can tolerate it for a few minutes because the masked ninja is correct: the cut's too deep to close on its own.

"Just shut up and get over here."

She laughs and obeys, sitting cross legged on the ground as the ANBU takes a roll of bandage from a pocket and cuts a small strip to fold over and press against the wound to blot the dripping blood.

There’s a pause as the masked ninja threads the needle. "I don't have any anesthetic.”

"Not an issue.” It’s not the first time she’s been stitched in the field, and it won’t be the last.

"Alright, hold still." The feline mask stares down, impassive as the three sutures are made quickly. "Done."

"Much obliged, Neko-san."

"It's going to scar."

_Meh._ She shrugs. "One more won't hurt." 

It'll compliment the crescent beside her right eye, and the smaller split through her bottom lip.

And besides, she figures as long as she doesn't end up like Ibiki, she'll be alright.

***

"Your kid is in trouble," she says flatly, folding her arms and looking at Inoichi as he leans against the counter in his shop.

"What makes you say that? And what the hell happened to _you_?" he adds, looking down at her bloody shirt.

"Asuma's fancy knives happened.” She waves a hand dismissively. “That’s not the issue here – that fucker recommended his whole team for the Chunin Exams."

"Ah." He frowns, considering it, then sighs. "Well, I don't like it, but I trust his judgement."

She throws up her hands and walks out of the shop through the back door to the gardens, shunshin-ing into the big tree and rolling up a smoke as she starts thinking.

The squeaker's got mind tricks like her father, but they're not refined and they're not fast, entirely too dependent on her shadow-manipulating teammate. 

_What would be_ really _helpful is if the kid could pull off a water clone_ , she muses, flicking the lighter and drawing deeply on the hand-rolled.

But she knows there's almost chance for Ino to learn the C-Ranked jutsu in only four days, and she keeps thinking as she reclines against the trunk and exhales the smoke slowly in a thin stream.

It’s going to be a matter of improving what she’s already working with.

***

“Not fast enough.” She stands with her arms folded. “Again.”

Ino is breathing hard, and she growls in frustration.

“I’m waiting.” 

She jerks her head to the side to dodge the kunai and sets her weight into her legs as Ino launches forward again, ducking under the little blonde’s torso and grabbing her by the hips to flip her bodily over her head.

The kid hits the ground flat on her back, choking as the wind is knocked out of her, and Kaiyō grabs her by a bicep and hauls her to her feet.

“You need to be able to adjust on the fly.” She releases her and steps back, shaking her head. “There’s no reason you shouldn’t have landed on your feet. Now do it again.”

“It’s hard to concentrate on that many things at once!” Ino gasps, still heaving for breath.

“If this was a real fight there would’ve been a knife in your chest the second you hit the ground,” she growls in response, sending a heavy flash of KI at the genin for reinforcement.

Ino pales, shuddering as the energy washes over her.

“You’ll thank me for this one day, squeaker. Now, focus your chakra and come at me again.”


	12. Night Terrors

_She’s back in Kumo, light on her feet and stealing through a mountain pass in the dead of night, trailed by two other Kiri-ANBU and wishing she had Zabuza and Kisame on her heels instead._

_Especially when the paper bombs go off and the night turns bright as day, blinding her for crucial seconds as the three of them are ambushed by no less than fifty ninja._

_At first the fight is exhilarating, and she sports a feral grin as her blade flashes in the moonlight and the mist she’s spreading turns red with blood._

_Then she sees one of her comrades fall, and then the other, and now she’s alone and facing thirty-odd enemies, and her grin turns into a desperate, furious snarl as she flashes around the battlefield._

In reality she escapes, wounded but alive, and the sole surviving Kumo-nin will tell their Raikage the story that lands her in their Bingo Book as the Ghost of Kirigakure.

But this is her nightmare, and she writhes in her bed, her legs twitching with the need to run, _run_ , her hands curling and uncurling from fists as her jaw clenches and Killing Intent emanates from her unconscious body, enough to thicken the very air.

_The first kunai hits her in the left shoulder, and her left hand’s grip goes slack on her wakizashi as the blade grinds against bone._

_She grits her teeth through the pain and fights on, her sword's weight nothing to manipulate one-handed._

_She stumbles as a shuriken lodges itself in her hamstring, and as she goes off balance the next kunai finds home in her side, slipping perfectly between her ribs and stealing the breath from her chest._

_She gasps, her vision going spotty as she keeps fighting — there’s just too many, there’s too many of them_ left _— and as the remaining Kumo-nin close in she knows this is it —_

“Kaiyō!” 

_One of them is gripping her injured shoulder, setting off more fires of pain —_

“Kaiyō, wake up!”

Her body jerks as she regains consciousness, and she instinctively floods her arm with chakra and swings wildly at the figure standing over her, her fist connecting with a strong jaw and snapping the head to the side.

They immediately release her shoulder as they stumble back, and she leaps to her feet, settling into a fighting stance and breathing harshly as her adrenaline surges.

“That fucking _hurt_ , gods _damnit!_ ” 

The light flicks on abruptly, and now she’s staring at Inoichi, his blonde hair down from its ponytail and falling over his bare chest as he glares at her, rubbing his jaw where she’d nailed him.

Her hands lower slowly as she registers her surroundings, but her blood continues rushing, the shakes setting in and starting in the large muscles of her thighs before crawling up her spine, stifling her KI as panic flares and rises in her chest.

_Fuck._ She shakes her head once, twice. 

_Not now, not_ now.

_FUCK._

She hasn’t had a nightmare in months, and her throat tightens painfully because Zabuza’s not here to talk her down, won’t ever be again, and she’s just sucker-punched the next best thing.

“Are you awake now?” Inoichi growls, and as he lowers his hand she can see the bruise blossoming on his face.

Her eyes are stinging, and her voice is a hoarse whisper. "Yeah... shit, I’m sorry....”

She means it, and the helplessness she feels must show on her face because his expression softens and he approaches slowly, reaching out, and she knows he’s giving her plenty of time to say no before his palm lands on her shoulder — 

She throws her arms around him and holds tightly, and she feels his entire body stiffen in surprise, and then he lifts his arms to wrap them around her.

"It's alright," he says softly. 

_No, it’s all wrong_....

The height, the bulk — there’s not nearly enough muscle — the long blonde hair tickling her face, and even the scent of the man she’s holding onto — it’s all completely wrong.

But still, a warm body is a warm body, and that’s what she needs as she presses against Inoichi, closing her eyes and willing away the phantom pain in her shoulder and side, focusing on him and only him as he holds her tighter and dips his chin to rest it on top of her head.

The panic dissipates slowly, her throat opening back up as her body stops trembling, and finally she takes a deep breath with her forehead against his chest.

His voice is low. “How often do you have nightmares, Kaiyō?”

“Few times a year, maybe. Or less.” She steps back, out of his arms, and reaches up to rub the back of her neck as she stares at his feet in front of her. “They’re, ah… they’re not usually that bad though.”

“Hm.”

He doesn’t believe her, she knows it, and she turns away to paw through her clothing and pull a hand-rolled and her lighter from a pocket.

“I’m going outside.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen, getting re-acquainted with a bag of frozen peas.” He shakes his head with a wry smile and gestures to his jaw. “If Ino can gather enough chakra to hit with even a quarter of that much strength, I’ll be impressed.”

She grins sheepishly and shrugs. “It’s not fancy, but it works.”

“That’s all that matters.”

***

The sun’s going down, and she’s looking suspiciously at Asuma as the three squeakers pant in a tangled heap on the ground at their feet.

“You do realize this sounds _exactly_ like an ambush attempt,” she says flatly.

Asuma only shrugs, drawing on his cigarette before reaching up to take it from his lips, flicking away the ash as he smirks at her. “Call it what you want, I’m just extending the invitation.”

“For drinks.”

“Yup.”

Her eyes narrow. “With other jonin.”

“Mhmm.”

“Tonight.”

“Tonight.”

“… You know _officially_ I’m only a chunin.”

“Yeah, alright,” he snorts, rubbing the cigarette out on the heel of his sandal. “And I’ll be taking Dad’s job any day now.”

“Just saying.” She folds her arms. “When and where?”

“Shushu-ya, let’s make it eight.” He scratches his chin, his nails rasping against the beard as he glances down at her with challenge in his eyes. “You in or you out?”

“I’m in.” She’s no coward after all.

“Then we’ll see you later.”

“Right. Come on, you.” She nudges Ino with her foot and gets a groan in response. “Don’t test me, squeaker — I’ll drag your sorry ass home by that ponytail.”

Ino pops to her feet immediately, and Asuma barks a laugh.

***

She walks into the pub called Shushu-ya at ten minutes to eight, and she sees Asuma seated at a high table, beside a black-haired woman with red eyes. 

Another male shinobi walks from the bar over to the same table as she approaches, a bottle of sake in one hand and a stack of cups in the other, and she sees a wrinkled, weal-like scar across the side of his face.

“Thanks, Raidō,” the black-haired woman says, and then the three of them simultaneously notice Kaiyō.

“You made it,” Asuma drawls, and she pulls up a chair beside the one called Raidō.

“Told you I would.”

“Yeah, you did.” He gestures to the woman on his left. “This is Kurenai Yūhi, and that’s Raidō Namiashi.”

Raidō touches two fingers to his hitai-ate and inclines his head in greeting, and Kurenai waves from across the table and smiles.

She dips her chin in response and turns back to Asuma. “Anybody else coming?”

“Maybe a few more,” he answers with a shrug, passing a cup of sake to Kurenai.

***

‘A few more’ does in fact turn out to be three more — introduced as Genma Shiranui and one _entirely_ too enthusiastic Might Guy.

But it’s not until ten o’clock that the third shows up, and she freezes with her cup of sake halfway to her lips as she spots the flash of silver hair walking into the pub.

_Kakashi Hatake._


	13. The Demon's Decision

She knows better.

She knows better than to pick a fight with Kakashi.

Besides, she's already outnumbered _not_ including her ANBU shadow.

Really, she knows better.

She knows - 

The sake cup shatters in her hand, slicing open her thumb and her palm, and the licks of pain bring enough awareness to chase away the red bleeding into her vision.

She makes no effort to dispel her KI along with it.

"Why don't we take a walk?" Kakashi says calmly. "I think you and I have a lot to talk about."

"Better idea -" says a voice from behind him, and her gaze flicks over the copy-ninja's shoulder to see Inoichi standing in the doorway of the silent restaurant. "- why don't the both of you come with me?"

"How the _fuck_ did you -"

**_You aren't as smart as I thought if you really think I don't keep track of your location, kiddo._ **

Her jaw snaps shut, and she growls from between clenched teeth, "Fine." 

_Fucking sensors...._

Someone taps her lightly on the shoulder, and she turns to see Raidō holding up a roll of bandages.

"Your hand?" he says in answer to her raised eyebrows.

 _Oh, right._ She looks down and realizes she's dripped blood all over the table, and it's running down her arm.

"Toss it here," Inoichi calls, and he snags the roll out of the air as it's thrown in his direction. "Alright, come on you two."

She passes a few bills to Asuma and turns to leave, her fingers twitching with the urge to draw a blade and launch herself at Kakashi as he gives her his back, his hands in his pockets as he strolls after Inoichi.

Inoichi gestures to the roof as they step outside, and positions himself in the middle after the three of them leap to the top.

“Give me your hand.”

She sticks her hand out with her palm up and he wraps it quickly and tightly, tucking the end and then frowning as the wounds bleed through almost instantly.

“Those need healing. But first give me your other hand. You too, Kakashi.”

The younger jonin pulls a gloved hand from his pocket and Inoichi takes it in his, with Kaiyō’s in his other.

She feels a jolt of chakra, and then – 

_There’s a line of fire down his chest as he’s standing on an almost-completed bridge and staring at a bloodied Zabuza –_

The wave of raw pain that seizes her heart is strong enough to pull her out of Inoichi’s jutsu, the vision of Kakashi’s memory disappearing, and the older man releases her hand to settle his palm on the back of her neck, squeezing gently.

“Sorry,” she whispers. “Keep going.”

Another flare of chakra – 

***

The jutsu is released and she blinks, disoriented from experiencing the memory from Kakashi’s perspective and with new information whirling through her mind.

It would be easy to hate Kakashi – if Gatō hadn’t shown up on the bridge, Zabuza would have died by the copy-ninja’s hand just as Haku had, because once the kid had died it had been painfully obvious that her Demon wasn’t able to fight to his full potential, his heart nearly as broken as it would have been had she been the one to fall.

But the fight had ended once the crime boss had announced his decision to turn on them, and once he’d abused Haku’s body, that had been it - even before Naruto had opened his mouth she’d known Zabuza wouldn’t stand for it, would have found a way to get even on his own without showing how much he’d truly cared for the boy, even if nobody else would have known but her, once he’d dragged his broken and bloody body back to the tree-house after finishing his business.

And she’s angry with him, angry at her love, that Zabuza had had the chance to get away, to get back, back to _her_ and instead he’d held a kunai in his mouth and let himself die for the sake of killing Gatō.

Maybe it makes her selfish, but she’d been with her Demon for longer than Haku had been _alive_ , and while she’d liked the kid plenty enough as a sort of almost-little-brother, it hurts like _hell_ knowing that Zabuza had chosen to die for him rather than return to her.

She sinks to the tiles on the roof, hugging her knees to her chest and staring mutely into space.

“I think I’d better go,” Kakashi says above her head, and he disappears in a swirl of leaves.

Inoichi kneels beside her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You need to get that hand taken care of,” he says softly.

“Don’t care.”

“Kaiyō that bandage is soaked – you need to get those wounds closed now.”

“Don’t. Care.” 

Her body is all but numb anyway, the only thing she can feel is the jagged hole in the center of her chest.

Inoichi sighs heavily, and that’s the last thing she hears as she feels one more lick of chakra and her vision goes black.

***

She opens her eyes to a white-tiled ceiling, and she sits up to see Inoichi watching her, sitting with his ankle over his knee and his arms folded over his chest.

“You’re an asshole,” she mumbles, looking down at her hand and seeing the freshly healed pink lines on her thumb and her palm. “… But thanks anyway.”

He laughs quietly as she flexes her fingers. “You’re welcome.”

She swings her legs off the padded table and slips down onto her feet. “Back to the house?”

“Back to the house.” He stands and opens the door to the little room off the main lobby. “I had them take care of your eyebrow as well.”

“Did it scar?” She reaches up and touches her fingertip to the spot, searching for stitches and finding none.

“Yes.”

“Figured it would.” She yawns widely as they step out of the hospital. “Like I told Neko-san though, one more won’t hurt.”

He shakes his head. “Keep that mindset and you’ll end up giving Ibiki a run for his money, kiddo.”

“Hm.” 

She wonders again how the big man managed to acquire the lines cutting across his face, and decides she’ll ask the next time she sees him.

They shunshin back to the house, and Inoichi ruffles her hair as he steps past her down the hall to his room.

One of her half-thoughts flashes into her mind - she could follow him - and she stiffens as it registers completely.

 _Where the fuck did_ that _come from?_

She’s standing, facing the open door of her room and frowning as she looks towards the closed door of his, the thought of following firmly in her mind now.

Yes, she loved her Demon, and yes, she loves him still, but after watching him choose Haku over her, she’s hurting even more than before, and she hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks and maybe, just maybe, one solid night’s rest can be found on the other side of that door at the end of the hall.

She takes a deep breath, moving forward lightly enough on her feet to make no sound whatsoever – the other reason they call her Ghost – and she pauses with her hand on the doorknob.

_Am I really going to do this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to get into too much copy-righted material/dialogue/etc. with the bridge scene. We all know what happened, right? 
> 
> Y'all wanna see some shitty line-art of Kaiyō? Of course y'all do! (And I can call it shitty because it's mine lolol)  
> This is before she caught the business end of Asuma's fancy-dancy knives btw.
> 
> https://www.deviantart.com/kirinoyokai/art/Kaiyo-Line-Art-857410791


	14. Persistence Pays Off

She releases the doorknob, shaking her head and mentally cursing herself as she retreats back to her room and closes the door, and she pulls her bloody clothes off and fresh ones on and burrows beneath her blankets.

_Bad idea, yeah._

_Bad idea...._

***

Forty-five minutes later she's back in front of Inoichi's door, and the knob turns easily in her hand as she slips into the almost-black room and steals silently over to the side of the bed.

Letting her eyes adjust, she can see that his back is to her, and she listens to the peaceful and steady sound of his breathing for a full minute before she finally crawls into the bed and presses in close against him.

He's awake instantly, and she feels his body tense before he speaks, his voice a low murmur. 

"What are you doing, Kaiyo?"

"Can't sleep," she whispers. "I keep... I just keep playing it in my head, over and over...."

Some of the stiffness leaves him, and he breathes out a sigh before sitting up and looking down at her.

"This isn't a good idea."

"I know, but..." She trails off, and she waits for him to tell her to leave.

But he doesn't, he just keeps staring down at her with that solemn expression on his face, and after what feels like an eternity - in reality perhaps only a minute - he lays back down, facing her now.

"Roll over," he says softly.

She immediately obeys, cuddling back into him with her shoulders against his chest, and after a moment she feels his fingers thread through her hair, the tips rubbing gently at her temple as his chakra flares along the length of his body, enveloping her in a warmth that seeps into her very bones, drawing a low and utterly content hum from deep in her chest as a sense of peace settles over her, and she closes her eyes.

_Maybe not such a bad idea after all...._

***

**"She slept _where_?"**

**The blank-masked ANBU ducks his head and reaches up to rub the back of his neck. "I don't think it was... you know."**

**_Fucking hell._ Ibiki reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in exasperation. _What the actual_ fuck _is Inoichi playing at?_**

**He needs to take a crack at the Kiri-nin, needs to figure out what the fuck is going on in that shaggy-haired head of hers, and more importantly _why_ it's going on, but he's got too much on his plate at the moment with the Chunin Exams starting tomorrow.**

**“Boss?”**

**“What.”**

**“She’s really not that bad, you know.” The ANBU shifts from foot to foot. “Just saying.”**

**“Get out.”**

**A puff of smoke is the response as the masked ninja disappears instantly.**

**_Fucking. Hell._ **

***

She wakes to the feeling of a warm, solid body behind her, with strong arms holding her close, and her first barely-coherent thought is that this is _good_ , this is _right_ , and as she becomes more aware she realizes that - wonder of wonders - she actually feels well-rested.

_No dreams, either…._

The man behind her stirs, pulling her tighter into the curve of his body with an arm across her ribs as he mumbles sleepily, and then he lets out a soft snore directly into her ear as he falls completely back to sleep.

She smiles, silently laughing, and closes her eyes again, content to be held for a little while longer.

At least until his alarm goes off and he rolls away to slap it into silence, and before he can move further she cuddles up to his back, pressing the length of her little body against his and putting _her_ arm across _his_ ribs to pull herself closer.

He rumbles happily, deep in his chest, and her eyes open when he suddenly goes tense.

_Someone's awake._

“Kaiyō.”

"Mmph." She stifles a yawn, resting her forehead against his back. "Five more minutes." 

“Kaiyō, I need to open the shop.”

Sighing with disappointment, she releases him, sitting up as he slips out of the bed and watching the muscles in his back flex and roll as he moves across the room to his closet.

He’s built well, not as muscled as Zabuza, but overall well, and she wonders for the first time just how old Inoichi actually is as she slips out of the bed and heads to her room before he finishes dressing.

They meet again in the kitchen, and she leans against the counter with her arms folded as he pauses in the doorway.

“Let me guess,” she says with a wry smile. “We can’t do that again.”

“It would probably be best if we did not.”

And yet he’d seemed to enjoy it before he’d become fully conscious, unless she’s mistaken, and she very much doubts that.

 _Unless…._ Understanding dawns. _Of course._

“How long has it been since you lost her?” she asks, her voice quiet.

“Ten years this fall.”

“… I’m sorry.”

“No reason to be sorry.” 

He moves past her to open the fridge, and she shifts to keep him in her line of sight.

“… There’s no easy fix for what you’re dealing with, Kaiyō,” Inoichi says after a moment, setting a pitcher on the table. “It’s just going to take time. Grief is a different process for everyone.”

“I know.” She puffs out a sigh and stands up from the counter. “I just wish it didn’t hurt so godsdamned badly.”

“The pain lessens eventually.”

“I believe you…. And thanks.”

“You’re welcome, kiddo. Going to meet Asuma and the team?”

“Smoke first, squeakers second.”

***

“You can do better than this.” She sidesteps Ino’s lunge and – “ _Hey_ now!” – ducks the spinning back kick aimed at her head. “Adjusting on the fly, good!”

The genin’s answering smile is fierce, and the praise seems to spark a second wind. 

She’s grinning as she keeps her hands up and open, ducking and weaving and trading swipes with the blonde.

“Mix it up, mix it up! Don’t fall into a rhythm or they’ll be able to read your movements, and then you die, squeaker.”

She punctuates the sentence with a swat to the side of Ino’s head, and ducks the answering punch – 

To feel the back of her head seized in two small hands as a knee rushes up to meet the center of her face.

“FUCK!”

She snarls as white explodes across her vision, and she feels something in her nose give with a sharp crack.

The sound’s not quite loud enough to drown out the gasps of the other two genin as she stumbles back a step, shaking her head and bringing her hand up to her nose, and she snarls again as it comes away covered in blood.

“You – you said – you said to mix it up!” Ino’s squeal sounds borderline terrified.

“I know I did, so calm the fuck down.” She leans forward and pinches her nostrils shut. _Ooh, that hurts._ “Were you holding chakra in your leg?”

“Yes?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” She spits out the blood running down the back of her throat. “Were you or were you not holding chakra in your leg?”

“I – I was.”

“Good.” She spits again, then bares her bloody teeth in a smile and offers a closed fist to the girl. “Good job, squeaker, you might just survive this test yet.”


	15. Flipped Switch

“Are you a masochist?”

She blinks. “Excuse me?”

“Are. You. A masochist?” Inoichi repeats, speaking slowly and clearly and frowning at her. “Because it seems like every time I turn around you’re hurt.”

“Oh come on,” she scoffs. “It’s not that many –”

“Drink til you’re sick.” He holds up a finger. “Starve yourself for five days.” Another finger. “Eyebrow.” Another. “Sliced your hand open.” A fourth. “And now –”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” she interrupts, holding up her hands in an ‘I surrender’ pose. “But I’m not a masochist. And besides, this broken nose is courtesy of your kid, so you ought to be proud.”

“Ino did this to you?”

“Yup, and I blocked a few more hits afterward with her holding chakra in her limbs, so I’m thinking she’s got that down relatively well. It’s not fancy, and she’ll need to work on her control of how much she uses to enhance her strikes, but it’ll give her an edge if someone underestimates her.”

He sighs. “I suppose sparring injuries can’t be helped.”

“Which also accounts for the eyebrow,” she replies cheerfully.

“All the same I’d prefer to go a while longer before seeing you come in bloodied, again.”

“I’ll do my best.”

***

“ _My name’s Naruto Uzumaki, and I’m gonna beat every single one of you!_ ”

She slaps a palm to her forehead as she hangs upside down from the roof of the academy building, her chakra focused to her ears with the fingertips of her other hand against the glass of the window as she stares into the room of genin waiting to take the Chunin Exam.

_Death. Wish._

The soft chuckle of her ANBU shadow sounds somewhere to her left, and she marks it as belonging to the blank-masked man with the fancy invisibility jutsu.

And one short scuffle between kiddies later, a massive cloud of smoke explodes in the front of the large room and –

“Alright you baby-faced degenerates, pipe down and listen up!”

 _WHAP!_ Another palm to the forehead as she catches sight of Ibiki leading the pack of shinobi.

_These kids are fucking done for._

***

She figures it out the second the words are out of Ibiki’s mouth – intelligence gathering.

_Come on Ino, I know you’re smart enough to get it._

Ibiki’s dark and hostile eyes have flicked once and only once to meet hers as she hangs at the window’s edge at the back of the room, and she merely flashes the head of Torture and Interrogation a wide smile before she presses her finger to her lips and continues watching the assembled candidates.

Nobody has appeared to chase her off, and her ANBU shadow hasn’t told her to leave yet either.

_Bingo._

She watches as Ino’s gaze turns calculating and the blonde’s eyes slide to the pink-haired girl that’s scribbling away at her paper, another of Kakashi’s genin, and after the pencil is laid down the miniature Yamanaka brings her hands into a sign and slumps forward at her desk a moment later.

_Good job._

***

She’s seeing for herself why Ibiki is the best – he hasn’t laid a single finger on any of these candidates and still, the lot of them are squirming in their seats like they’re in physical pain over this tenth question.

Her eyes flick over to Ino. _Don’t you dare quit now, squeaker._

And after too-stupid-to-be-scared Naruto’s little outburst, she knows none of them will, and she grins fiercely when the gamble pays off and Ibiki announces that everyone’s passed the first exam.

“Hold on! What do you mean we passed?! Where’s the tenth question?”

She winces as Kakashi’s pink-haired student’s voice grates on her chakra-enhanced hearing –

And a low chuckle is the only warning before a wide, warm smile splits Ibiki’s scarred face.

“Holy _shit_ ,” she breathes, utterly stunned as the expression turns the bastard downright handsome.

Not to mention it’s like a switch has been flipped on the man’s personality, and she is _intrigued_ by this new Ibiki as he explains the test in its entirety.

 _Fucking hell…_ Her eyes widen as the bandanna slips off his head, revealing a horrible pattern of burns, long slashes, and old puncture scars. _And I was curious about his_ face. _What he must have been through…._

The reveal certainly drives home the point he’s making to the assembled genin, the lot of them sporting stunned or outright revolted expressions, but Ibiki doesn’t seem to care, only re-securing his hitai-ate and continuing to speak – 

Right up until a dark bundle crashes through the window and twirls to her feet at the front of the room.

She leans forward interestedly – if this Anko Mitarashi can get away with calling Ibiki soft in front of almost eighty genin plus all the other sentinels, she decides the loud-mouthed and purple-haired female might be worth getting to know.

For now though, she wouldn’t mind seeing another of those smiles.

***

**  
He waits with his arms folded as the last of the genin file out of the classroom, Anko having since left the way she’d come – through the godsdamned window that T &I is _not_ paying for, fuck him very much – and he can see Kaiyō’s small frame still perched outside at the edge of the room.**

**“What do you want?” he calls as he starts collecting test papers.**

**Her form flickers, reappearing at the front of the room with her arms folded loosely over her chest.**

**“I want a lot of things, honestly. Are you referring to this particular moment, or the grand scheme of things?”**

**He’s in a decent mood, but not a good enough one for her quick-witted bullshit, and he growls, “Do you need something from me or not?”**

**“Just making conversation, sheesh.” She slides her hands in her pockets and raises her chin. “I guess this whole exam thing is why we haven’t been meeting for my ‘evaluations’ then, huh?”**

**_Oh?_ He pauses. “Why do you care?”**

**Her head tips to the side, questioning. “Do _you_ even care that I care?”**

**He does, actually, or at the very least he’s curious as to why she’d volunteer to spend more time around him, considering up til this moment they’ve met all of twice, and the first time she’d steamrolled him with KI and given him a vision of her joyfully _slitting his fucking throat_ , and the second time she’d actually lunged for him with plans of achieving that particular goal only to be stopped mid-leap by Inoichi, no doubt only because she’d been sluggish with starvation and over-sleep.**

**Then again, he _had _threatened her both times, first with death and then with a medical-cell.__**

**_Or maybe murderous little shit is just her default setting,_ he muses, feeling the level of her ambient KI with no external stressors present. **

**After all, an ANBU career in Kirigakure followed by six years of what he could only assume was mercenary work alongside Zabuza hardly lent itself to the dossier of a typical kunoichi.**

**“You’re staring at me like you’re trying to figure me out,” she drawls, leaning her weight on one foot and grinning at him. “I can promise you: it’s really not that hard."**

**_Right, because you’re_ so _simple, aren’t you?_ He snorts, shaking his head. “You talk too much.” **

**“I like to keep myself amused.”**

**“Why don’t you make yourself useful instead and start grabbing papers?"**

**It’s a shot in the dark, but he figures if she sticks around he can use these next few minutes to try and get a read on the erratic female, since it seems she’s looking to play nicely at the moment, and he’s only had the one chance to personally shadow her before starting to prepare for the Chunin Exams.**

**Interestingly enough, she complies, shunshin-ing to the opposite corner of the room and working in a way that suggests she’ll meet him in the middle.**

**“Damn, you really pulled out all the stops with these questions,” she comments, and he glances up to see her frowning down at a stack of papers. “This looks like a fucking nightmare.”**

**“What was your exam like then?”**

**“Never took one.”**

**_Interesting._ “Field promotion, then?”**

**“Something like that,” she replies tersely.**

**_Touchy subject,_ he notes. “Tell me something – why’d you put so much effort into Inoichi’s kid?”**

**She shrugs. “Squeaker needed a few extra tricks up her sleeve. Not terribly helpful for this part of the test I suppose, but if she ends up in a fight she’ll at least be better off than she was a week ago.”**

**“Squeaker?”**

**“Squeakers, kids, brats, whatever you want to call them.” Another shrug. “All your little upstarts with squeaky little voices and generally annoying as shit.”**

**“Not a fan of children, I see,” he says wryly.**

**“What gave it away?” She laughs without humor and shakes her head. “Nevermind, don’t answer that.”**

**And yet she’d put in hours of training with the so-called brat every single day for the previous four days straight.**

**Though that much he could fairly easily chalk up to simple gratitude to Inoichi for taking her into his home.**

**They meet in the middle and she passes him the stack of papers, tipping her chin up to meet his eyes.**

**“What’s the second part of the exam?”**

**“Follow your little upstart tomorrow morning and find out.”**

**“Hm.” She folds her arms, and he can see her gaze following the long scar down his face, the curiosity glinting in her eyes.**

**“Just ask.”**

**Her eyebrows lift in surprise. “You’d tell me just like that?”**

**“I really don’t care.”**

**“Alright, fine.” She hops up onto the desktop and sits cross-legged. “What happened?”**

**“Mission went south, and eventually my captor got bored with drilling holes in my skull and decided to give me some marks I couldn’t cover up.”**

**She lets out a low whistle. “How long did they have you for?”**

**“Two days, from what I can remember.”**

**“I’m assuming you killed the bastard responsible.”**

**“I did.” He’d crushed Aoi’s windpipe with his broken and bloody hands.**

**“Good for you.”**

**“Ever been captured?”**

**“Me? No.” She shakes her head slowly. “No… nobody’s ever been able to get their hands on me.”**

**_Hmm._ She’s unsettled, and he decides to pry. “What are you thinking about?”**

**“Nightmares I have where people are able to get their hands on me.”**

**“You had one a few days ago.”**

**“Yeah, I did.” Her jaw sets stubbornly as she folds her arms again. “You never have nightmares about what happened to you?”**

**“Sometimes.” Though mostly it’s watching his little brother die choking on his own blood rather than the physical torture that he dreams of.**

**She uncrosses her legs and slips forward off the desk. “So, am I evaluated?”**

**His mouth quirks into a wry smile. “For now, yes.”**

**“We should do the next one over drinks.” She gives him a once-over and nods as though she’s made a decision. “You look like a whisky kind of guy.”**

**He is, but he’s not telling her that. “I’ll let you know.”**

**“Anybody ever told you you’re kinda hot when you smile?”**

**He freezes in place. “What?”**

**“What?”**

**“What did you just –”**

**“Whoops, gotta go – I think I hear Inoichi calling me.” She flashes him a wide smile and disappears in a swirl of mist.**

**_… What the fuck just happened?_  
**


	16. Tests and Past Tribulations

She stands beside Ino and her teammates and doesn’t know whether to smile or frown as Anko explains the second portion of the Chunin Exams and the consent forms are passed out. 

One the one hand, the exercise sounds exhilarating: five days surrounded by enemies, permission to kill while facing the possibility of being killed as well, with a clear objective: to steal a scroll and make it to a tower.

On the other hand, she’s not sure Asuma's genin have the mettle to make it through this kind of thing. Their technical skills are decent, but the squeakers aren’t battle-hardened in the slightest, and she can feel a good few handfuls of surrounding candidates with ambient Killing Intent strengthening as savage smiles spread at the prospect of this test.

Probably her kind of people, but that’s not who she’s focused on at the moment as Shikamaru raises his hand. 

“So let’s say mid-exam,” he begins, and she can already guess where this is going. “ Can we qui – OUCH!” He reaches up to rub the back of his head as she glares at him after delivering the reprimanding punch.

“Of course not!” Anko exclaims. “You can’t just quit in the middle of a battle – it’ll get you killed!”

“What a dra –” He cuts off the statement as Kaiyō raises her fist again, and the proctor starts listing ways for teams to get disqualified.

“- and one more word of advice,” Anko says to finish up. “Try not to die!”

“Alright,” she says quietly as the four of them step away from the crowd to read over and sign the forms. “You need to get to that tower as quickly as possible if you want to make it through this, so find the weakest teams and go after them first.”

“Looks like Naruto’s our target then,” Shikamaru says with a smirk.

“Just watch out for the Uchiha,” she cautions. “You guys can do this, but you have to be _smart_. And no hesitating, either – if you get an opportunity, you take it. You can’t expect to be given any mercy, so you can’t afford to give it. That means if it’s you or them, then _fuck them_ , do you hear me?”

Ino’s blue eyes are wide, but she nods, and the other two follow suit after a moment.

“Good. I’ll see you all when this is over. Now go get that scroll!”

***

The candidates are off, and she strolls up to Anko with little regard for the flare of chakra as the other kunoichi catches sight of her approaching.

“So, how many do you think will get it done?” she asks, her tone friendly with her hands in her pockets and an easy smile on her lips – the very picture of well-behaved for her two ANBU shadows: her requirement for being allowed outside the village walls to accompany Ino and her squad to the exam site.

“Hmm....” Anko taps a finger to her chin as she thinks. “Out of the thirteen possible, I’d say four squads, five tops, _if_ the weather treats them right.”

“Fair enough. You think any of the rookies will make it?”

“Not likely,” the proctor replies with a snort. “The forest is brutal even for experienced genin.”

“I’ll bet.” _Hell, I wouldn’t mind doing some survival training of my own in there._

One of the ANBU appears in a swirl of leaves – the cat-masked female. “Time to go.”

 _Damn._ She hadn’t even gotten a chance to ask about Ibiki. _Ah well._

“I’ll see you around,” she says, lifting her chin to Anko before ambling toward her escort with a bright smile. “Neko-san!” Her voice is full of fake cheer. “How nice to see you this morning.”

“Shut up and follow me.”

“Ahh, you’ll love me eventually, Neko-san.”

***

She’s sprawled on her back on the lawn in the back gardens with one hand behind her head, the other resting on her ribs and holding a hand-rolled that she hasn’t lit yet as she stares up at the starry night sky, her thoughts rolling in her mind as she wonders how Ino’s doing in the Forest of Death, before thinking back to her own non-standard promotion to chunin.

 _Fucking Yagura._ Her lip curls at the memory. 

The back door opens, and she doesn’t bother to raise her head as Inoichi makes his way over to settle cross-legged on the ground at her side.

“You’ve been quiet today,” he says, and in her periphery she sees him lean back on his palms and look down at her.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

 _Another life, I suppose._

She puts the hand-rolled between her lips and flicks the lighter, taking a heavy draw and shaking her head as she holds the inhale.

“… Are you going to make me guess?” he asks after a long moment.

The smoke drifts upward as she lets it out slowly. “That might be fun.”

“Hmm….” He tips his head back to look up at the sky. “I’ll go out on a limb and say it’s something to do with your time in Kirigakure.”

“It is.”

“Anything to do with… him?”

“Yes and no.” 

Zabuza had often been one of the sticks she’d measured herself against – he’d held the rank of jonin for a good two years and change before she’d been promoted, and Kisame even longer than that.

Why Yagura hadn’t given it to her, she doesn't know. And probably won't ever find out, honestly.

Besides, she’d certainly killed enough of his hunter-nin after the fact to prove herself a force to be reckoned with.

She’d actually been the one to pass Haku one of their masks after eliminating the first squad that had caught up to them.

Inoichi shifts, and she smiles as his palm settles on her forehead.

“Tired of guessing already? You’re no fun.”

He smirks down at her. “Give me that.”

“Give you what?”

He reaches over with his other hand, and her jaw drops as he takes the hand-rolled from between her fingers and brings it to his lips, and she laughs quietly while passing him the lighter.

 _Well I’ll be damned._ “I stand corrected.”

“Mmm….” He bares his teeth in a grin as he holds the smoke in for a long moment before exhaling slowly. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah? How long?” She takes the hand-rolled back and puffs on it herself.

“Hell, sometime before Ino was born.” He uncrosses his legs and reclines to lay on his back, his palm still resting on her head with his fingertips brushing her brow. “Are you going to tell me what you were thinking about?”

Right now she’s wondering if he realizes his thumb is gently rubbing at her temple, and it takes her a moment to remember where she’d left off in her memories.

 _Oh, right._ Questioning the decisions of a Mizukage she no longer serves, whose opinion of her only matters insomuch as to how much the bounty he’d placed on her head is.

It’s been quite a while since she’s seen a Bingo Book, actually, and she makes a mental note to ask Ibiki about it tomorrow, if she can get to him.

She closes her eyes with a sigh of contentment. “You can look, if you want.”

There’s a tingle as he gathers chakra, and she feels him enter her mind slowly, similar to how someone might wade into a pond.

“Show me,” he murmurs, and she reaches for the memories: 

_The office is dark, save for the single swath of moonlight that’s falling over Yagura, and she’s standing with most of her weight on one leg and ignoring the steady_ pat-pat-pat _of her blood dripping onto the wooden floor as she passes the scroll across the desk._

_She’s been running on food-pills for two days and her adrenaline hasn’t quite subsided yet, the pain only a faint sensation in the back of her mind – she can go to the medics later, this is more important._

_“Another success,” he says, accepting the spoils of her completed mission. “I suppose I’ll have to reward you somehow.”_

_She’s silent._

_“A promotion should do – starting tomorrow, you’ll be a chunin.”_

_“Thank you, Lord Mizukage.”_

_“Now get out, you’re making a puddle.”_

_“Yes, Lord Mizukage.”_

_She leaves the office in a swirl of mist and lands at the doors of the hospital, staggering as her injured leg finally gives out, and the medic-nin scold her severely even as they shove a stretcher underneath her._

“So stubborn.”

She opens her eyes to see Inoichi shaking his head with a sigh as he withdraws from her mind.

“I’ll bet you thought you were invincible too at sixteen,” she says quietly.

“I may have, but I also wasn’t completing solo A-ranks as an ANBU at that age either,” he answers, his voice just as quiet, and his thumb is once more stroking back and forth over her temple. 

"Hn." He's got a point, but - _Sometimes I wonder if Yagura wasn’t actually trying to get me killed in action. Zabuza, too._ "You know, I never did make jonin, not officially." 

“That doesn’t mean you aren’t one - from what I’ve seen at least, you’re well within rights to be labeled as a jonin, though Shikaku will most likely want to evaluate you for himself once you’re able to start taking missions.”

“Shikaku?”

“Our Jonin Commander. And my best friend,” he adds, almost as an afterthought. “He’s also the head of the Nara Clan, and Shikamaru’s father.”

_I punched a Clan heir in the head this morning. Lovely._

Granted, she’s been working Ino and the other two into the ground for a week alongside Asuma, but at least the girl’s father understands.

“Come on.” Inoichi gets to his feet and offers her a hand. “Let’s go inside, it’s getting late.”


	17. Just Because She CAN Does NOT Mean She SHOULD

She’s standing on top of the Hokage mountain again, her back to the village as she surveys the buildings in front of her with her hands on her hips.

“What are you doing?” The blank-masked ANBU appears at her side in a swirl of leaves.

“Nothing that you need to take that tone with me for,” she replies off-handedly as she scans the rooftops and her gaze lands on the tallest one she can see. _Bingo._

“You’re not even supposed to be up here.”

That’s news to her, and now she does turn to look curiously at him. “I’m not?”

“Let’s just say there are very few _good_ reasons for you to be in this area.”

“Hmm.” She re-focuses on her chosen rooftop and scuffs a foot against the ground. “Are you _officially_ asking me to clear out?”

“... Not yet.” He folds his arms, the blank mask staring impassively at her. “Depends on where you go sniffing.”

 _Eh, I’ll take it._ She smiles innocently. “Now who said I was going sniffing?”

“The look in your eyes.”

“Pfft.” She shakes her head. “I’m not looking to cause trouble, so calm down.”

“That still sets the bar pretty low.”

In response, she points toward the rooftop she’d been eyeing, disappearing in a swirl of mist the second his head turns and reappearing on the peak, wiggling her fingers at him in a wave now that she’s in his line of sight.

He joins her with a sigh. “That was juvenile.”

“Lighten up.” From her new vantage point she can see almost all the structures in the area, and she spies what she’s looking for in the form of a mid-sized grey building labeled ‘Intelligence’. 

The ANBU follows her gaze, then shakes his head slowly, following after her when she starts hopping rooftops in the direction of the Intelligence building before pausing across the street with a line of sight to the front doors.

He looks from her to the building and back. “You’re not getting in there.”

 _Challenge accepted, fucker - wait, no._ No, that’s not what she’s here for. _But still though_. “... I could if I wanted to.”

“No, you couldn’t.”

He sounds annoyingly certain, and she grits her teeth and responds, “Wanna bet?”

“I’ll bet that even if you did, which you won’t, you will not like what happens afterward.”

_Alright, that’s it._

It’s time for her to let them realize what exactly it is they’re dealing with. She hadn’t been bluffing when she’d told Inoichi she could outrun the Leaf’s ANBU with very little effort, and now she’s going to prove it.

Scowling, she perches on the edge of the roof like a gargoyle, her body poised to spring as she focuses on the double-doors below.

In her periphery, the ANBU leans forward. “Don’t.”

She doesn’t respond, watching as a man dressed in buckskin over his flak-vest moves down the street toward her target.

“I’m warning you. Do not attempt to enter that building.”

“I thought you said I wouldn’t make it,” she scoffs, not looking around at him as the man below gets closer to the doors.

“You won’t.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

“I’m not worried, I just don’t want you to -”

There’s a faint buzz and a metallic _chk!_ as the doors are unlocked, and the man pushes them open - 

She leaps forward, not bothering to mask her intended direction with mist, and in less than the blink of an eye, well before the single-syllabled “FUCK!” even leaves her ANBU shadow’s mouth, she lands in a crouch on a tiled floor as the door closes with a thud behind her.

Three shinobi: two men in grey suits behind a desk just ahead on her left, and the man dressed in buckskin directly in front of her. Two doors: one directly ahead and the one she’d just come through behind her.

Her split-second assessment completed, she pops to her feet and gives them all a bright, disarming smile as she raises her empty hands to the level of her chest.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen! Sorry for the intrusion, but I had to prove a point to one of your ANBU. Now that it’s settled, I’ll just be going -“

She moves to take a step back and turn around, but her foot freezes in mid-air and she abruptly realizes that she’s completely lost control of her entire body.

The man in buckskin, undoubtedly Shikamaru’s father Shikaku Nara, based on the near-identicality of their features, is mirroring her pose of one foot raised, and she glances down to see that his shadow has merged with hers in a thin line.

“You’re pretty fast,” he drawls after she looks back up.

She does _not_ like the way he’s smirking at her as he puts his foot down slowly and her body follows suit.

“It’s too bad that you don’t _think_ as fast as you move,” Shikaku continues. “Maybe then you might have actually reached the conclusion that this wasn’t a good idea.”

“Yes, well, conclusion reached,” she replies, tugging at the paralysis and finding no give whatsoever. “So if you’ll just let me go, I’ll be on my way and out of yours.”

“Yeah, see, Inoichi might let you get away with a stunt like this, but me?” He shakes his head, his smirk widening. “Not so much.”

_Not good. Not. Good._

“In fact, here’s what I think: you wanted to get in here so badly, maybe we ought to let you stay awhile.”

 _Oh no. Oh no no no._ Her heartbeat accelerates as she tugs harder against the shadow-bind, to no avail.

“That’s not going to work and you know it.”

“Can you blame me for trying?” she snaps in response.

“Not at all. But if you’re going to continue to attempt, I think it’s best you went to sleep for a little while.”

_Shit. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck -_

There’s a tingling along her body as a thread of shadow winds its way up her leg and over her torso, and suddenly there’s no oxygen to be had as she feels pressure around her throat, concentrated on her carotid artery.

 _Shikamaru needs to learn how to do_ this _shit_ , is her last coherent thought before losing consciousness.

***

She bolts upright, her fingers scrabbling against her lower back as she reaches for a blade that’s not there.

“I ought to have your fucking chakra sealed off,” snarls the absolute last voice she wants to hear. “Are you out of your fucking _mind_?”

“Generally speaking,” she responds automatically, then winces - _Bad idea. -_ and ducks her head to look around at Ibiki through the bars of the cell door.

The big man is actually shaking with what she can only assume is rage, or fury, or both, and she keeps her mouth shut to avoid provoking him further.

“You are going to sit in this fucking cell until I no longer want to use any of the tools I have at my disposal on you. So get fucking _comfortable,_ you fucking _idiot_.”

He turns on his heel and strides away, and she lays back down and sighs.

_Way to go, dumbass. Way to go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends!  
> Coming to you to say two things:   
> 1) Apologies for the delay in uploading this latest chapter  
> 2) After a lot of deliberation and careful consideration, I have decided to RE-WRITE this story from the top down.  
> I want to expound on certain things that I feel have not gotten enough development. I want you all to have a better understanding of our Little ShitTM of a protagonist.  
> I want, dare I say... to give you all more... PLOT!  
> If you have anything you would like to see expanded on, or any thoughts or emotions you would like to express, or if you have really anything you would like to say about the upcoming re-write, PLEASE leave me a comment!  
> Thank you all, and see you again hopefully soon!


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